NSFW Any of you worried about being killed

[FoxSauce]

Is a discussion but I labeled it nsfw just un case.

Like the question says
Anyone you worried about you can be just chilling and then BAM! Killed?

Or is it a sort of thing you came to peice with ? Like live your live like your last day?

Does it occupy your mind most of the time? Or have you come to peace with it?

Ik too many questions but Im in the middle ground I sometimes wanna die but not shot at or something oe a disaster.

When I was younger- (eesh weird to say) I used overly overthink I coukd die anywhere and see many dead people (felt like a daydream ig yet vivid?) Idk if any of you had this sort of thing.

I rather post it here cuz well speaking to someone about it irl is too negative or morbid.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

i was very afraid of it in middle school for some reason. now i suppose still i am but i plan to ctb so maybe its less scary i dont know

 

[usernamegoeshere]

not sure. i lowkey be walking home with headphones on in the dark idgaf no more

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

No but I hope that it happens. That would actually be ideal

 

[Quantum_Marten0302]

Im hoping for it but worried at the same time of course

 

[Pluto]

 

[ScaredCutter]

im scared of being killed, im scared of the dark, break ins, being lured unknowingly, being drugged and some other things. most of these stem from what u see on the news but, i was also watching videos on real crimes which lead to peoples death because nobody took them seriously, it was far too late to be saved or another worse outcome. im also scared of earthquakes and tornados tho they dont happen much here for me. im still afraid of floods too.

being told the chances of dying scares me, whether it be by somebody or natural causes. i remember going on an app and it said id die in like an hour or so? i couldnt sleep, when im reminded that u can die in ur sleep, i cant sleep and i worry for my family.

i always feel liek someone is peering into my window, someone is waiting for me outside at night.

but these only happen if i remember them and/or being reminded about it.

 

[LittleSunshine]

Nah, I never leave the house.

But in the summer, when it gets really hot, I keep the windows and doors open, which is normal in my country. Every now and then I think... If someone were to come in now, I'd probably be screwed.

 

[Malfunction]

I guess it would depend on the manor in which it happens.

I'm not afraid of dying. If its quick and painless, then I'm good with it.

 

[Hollowman]

Worried? I wish that would happen. Ctb is the hardest thing.

 

[fedup1982]

Nah not at all. It would be wishful thinking!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm afraid of a slow, frightening, painful death so, yes- I am afraid of accidental or homicidal death. It doesn't prey on my mind constantly but, if I'm in situations that feel like they are potentially dangerous- I will start dreading something horrible happening.

I'd be interested if gender plays a role. My Dad once said, he pitied women if they felt afraid to be out at night or daunted to go to pubs alone etc. I've never felt attractive enough to really fear sexual assault- although, a friend once told me that wouldn't matter. But, I do fear being out in the dark.

For other people too. Walking home from work once, this guy was walking right behind this woman. She kept speeding up to try and create distance but, he just matched it. I really was so scared for her. I couldn't quite believe he would try something in front of other people but then, he was so cruel not to realise what was happening and slow down/ cross the road. I had this horrible feeling he enjoyed making her frightened.

I wonder if guys feel that fear so much. I think I read statistically, men are actually more likely to be attacked. I think women are just more aware that we tend to be weaker than men.

I suppose it doesn't make sense really- seeing as I feel sure I want to die. But then, one 'benefit' of suicide is- we have some control over it. My worry with accidental or homicidal death is- it may not be quick. Plus, if emergency services find you- they'll attempt to 'save' you- no matter how maimed you are.

I suppose I also lean towards suicide for the autonomy it embodies. Being murdered is having your autonomy ripped away in the most brutal way. That's something that sickens me about this world. Everyone trampling on one another for their own gratification. If suicide is an act of self determination, murder is its absolute opposite. So, I kind of hate it for that reason too. It means the bullies in this world are winning.

 

[EmptyBottle]

funny, tho probably true (news articles seem inconclusive tho)

 

[Unlucky777]

I wish that would happen or should have already happened. That would be Amazing actually so I don't have to worry about doing it myself. I want to die so I would actually love if it happens this way. I don't ever wear my seat belt in the hope that I get into a fatal accident and it kills me.

I nearly drowned 3 times before I was a teenager but each time I was saved. FML it's like I just wasn't meant to fucking die and it angers me each time I think about if I would have died one of those 3 times.

 

[whywere]

No, as who would want to waste energy killing me?

Also, I could never ever hurt another soul, and I wish and hope the same for me.

Walter

 

[Alpacachino]

not sure. i lowkey be walking home with headphones on in the dark idgaf no more

You'll only be robbed,no worries!

No, as who would want to waste energy killing me?

I would rephrase that.No one would want to kill you.You're a good soul.

 

[RiderNo.4]

I remember daydreaming about it quite a bit as a kid, but I would hate to go that way now. CTBing is definitely tough, and having no choice in it would be great, but dying in pain is a hard pass.

 

[FoxSauce]

Wow Im kinda shocked that people here
dont get worried lmao.

Fr, Is tiresome fearing death yet wanting it yet difficult to obtain too.

I guess Im scared of the fact of dying from something else than my own hand.

 

[inkmage333]

Depends, it'd be nice if someone were to kill me because at this point that feels like the only way I can die, but at the same time, I'd really like it to be quick and painless...except most killers unfortunately like to make it not that at all so...

 

[Manaaja]

I've been scared my parents will kill me. My father has often threatened to kill our whole family ever since he met mother.

Most people in Finland only kill their biological children and their spouses. When you don't have biological parents or spouses, or they are castrated and imprisoned, your chance of getting killed becomes extremely tiny.

 

[bobsacamano]

Is it bad that I would think this to be the best case scenario? The best result without my having to make it happen, and definitely the avenue for my family, it seems to me.

 

[Unlucky777]

Wow Im kinda shocked that people here
dont get worried lmao.

How come you're worried lol?

I want to die. I don't want to be here anymore. So for me I'd welcome being killed so that I don't have to do it myself. I don't have to worry about all the physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual things one must go through to CTB. CTBing is so fucking difficult that I'm worried that more people are not saying they would like to be killed instead of them taking their own lives lol