I was a NEET from age 22 to 34. I have Schizotypal Disorder, which leaves me with severe negative symptoms: anhedonia, avolition, apathy, and emotional blunting.
After high school, I tried studying Computer Science. I dropped out after 6 months due to severe depression. I then tried several jobs, but never lasted more than a week due to constant workplace mobbing. Two years later, I gave CS another try. Despite getting top grades in math and programming, the mobbing and my mental state forced me to drop out again.
That started a continuous 12-year NEET period. For 5 of those years, I made pennies writing scripts and coding. Feeling like a parasite, I was fully supported by my family. I started seeing a psychiatrist 7 years ago, but I kept stopping my treatment.
12 months ago, while on medication, I finally broke the NEET cycle and got a minimum-wage job. My goal was dark: save 10,000 PLN for my own funeral so I wouldn't burden my family, and then end my life. So far, I've managed to pay my mom back 15,000 PLN, and I currently have 2,000 saved for my goal.
After quitting my meds a few months into the job, my anxiety became extreme. I restarted treatment 4 months ago (Olanzapine + Pregabalin). The meds don't help my core issues and make me feel like a total zombie—empty head, poor memory, no thoughts. Still, I've accepted that I need to stay on medication for the rest of my life.