NSFW Any good dirty jokes/funny stories?

[Iceangel]

Dunno if this is allowed but Ive found humor helps pick me up when Im feeling down and was wondering if any users out there wanted to share any low brow jokes and/or funny/awkward stories?

Figured if anyone shared this opinion they might have a nice place to stop in on here. We all have dark places and thoughts and thought another neutral/positive thread would be nice. ^^

 

[Cubashii]

There was an old man and woman that came across hard times. So the old woman said to the old man " honey i can be a hooker for a day for us money" and the old man agreed this wasnt too bad. So the old woman got all cleaned up and the husband dropped her off on a corner of a street. He waited several hours and came back to pick her up. She gets in the car happy and says, " i made $125.25" The old man says WHO GAVE YOU 25 CENTS!? The old woman said "All of them" <3

 

[Dead beat dad]

Who is the coolest guy at the hospital?

The Ultrasound guy.

Who is second coolest when hes not there?

The hip replacement guy.

Not dirty I know but best I've got.

Chin up brother

 

[Empty Smile]

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

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Hahahaha

 

[Empty Smile]