Anxiety vs sadness

[monolog]

Intense anxiety is probably much worse state but I always prefer it compared to sadness

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I think I'm slightly the opposite, preferring sadness to anxiety. But I usually have both at the same time. My anxiety keeps me moving, doing what I'm obligated to do, while my sadness keeps me from caring too much. They kind of work together for me.

 

[fuyacore]

My anxiety brings me terror and destruction to my irl ability to perform and being functional.

My sadness is like a slow burning trauma that keeps piling up, waiting to strike with the terror of nihilism.

Maybe it's my addiction, but lot of the time anxiety leads me to breakdown where somehow I could find someone I could ask help and care for online. Being in state of emergency with intense anxiety makes me able to consider ctb, which the things I need and want but keep repressing. While my sadness is the side effects of knowing that I could never get what I want.

Sometimes I wonder if my anxiety try to bring me to the path I deserve and need...

 

[-Link-]

It always seems to be one or the other.

I hate the anxiety, but at least I can feel something? When my anxiety is in control, I'm always wishing for downtime. But when that downtime actually comes, it's sadness mostly in the form of numbness -- the feeling of nothing at all.

Realistically, I know the "anxiety vs sadness" thing is a false dichotomy, and there's probably some benefit in figuring out what else I'm feeling at a given time and why I'm feeling that way. Right now, it's just numbness and nothingness, and it's brutal. But I am definitely not wishing for the aliveness of anxiety.