Venting anxiety is the worst thing on the planet

[Pluto]

 

[Daxter777]

did you get on medication at all? thats fucking awful and similar to what i went through. pretty sure the few white hairs that showed up on my beard are due to the extreme sustained stress. 28 yo btw. the only reason i got through it was because of the benzos and videogames.

Yeah, i cracked and went to a psych then they put me on ssri's at first and later on they put me on benzos. Benzos scare the hell out of me though. I know if I am hooked and get that brutal withdrawal it will be the thing to push me over the edge to ctb.

 

[Electra]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. Anxiety just taking the present out and making everything about the future.

 

[08ALW]

I absolutely agree. I've had panic attacks so bad I screamed and begged my parents to kill me... and then the anxiety flareups where there's a bunch of cortisol that won't leave your system and leaves you bed-ridden for weeks. My longest one lasted half a year. Panic attacks every day for that long... worse than hell. Hours and hours every night of checking your heart rate and blood pressure every night sometimes... Not being able to eat too much lest it scare your body because you think you'll throw up and having to eat enough because hunger triggers it too. Nausea, choking sensations, GERD, loss of appetite, dizziness/vertigo, insomnia, body aches from being so fucking tense, the list goes on and on and on...
I had one doctor say "if I was alive during pioneer I'd be great at keeping watch for Indians" like fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, you don't have live with this shit. You don't know a kind of fear that's more terrifying than death. And then there's people that preach to me about it like one girl who said "what have you to fear :D" like I cannot imagine being able to wake up in a normal body that doesn't feel like it's eating itself.

Ugh.

I have panic attack episodes for months too