1. Taking long walks. No dog, no long walks. It's miserable and scary to take long walks alone. I wanna be there having fun with people, not walking alone in a creepy forest.
2. Songs with lyrics. I used to listen to a lot of music with lyrics. Both uplifting and depressive. I quit depressive songs because they were depressive. I quit up-lifting songs because they felt bossy, narrow-minded, incredibly naive and stupid.
Hey song! My father hit me! I need up-lifting!
Song: You can do this! Bad guys won't win! Love and justice save the day!
Hey song! My mother said it's okay for him to hit me because he's hot! I now hope a venomous snake comes up the toilet...
Song: You can do this! Bad guys won't win! Love and justice save the day!
3. Learning languages. Four things led to that:
It's pretty damn hard to learn languages when I don't encounter them in daily life and have little use for them in daily life. Yeah, we have apps, we have youtube videos, we have websites, etc., but it's so slow, miserable and hard to learn a language you only encounter on a screen. It's no fun.
Pride. Why should it always be the Finns learning every other country's language? Why can it never be them fucking being raised as native Finnish speakers?! There's no reason to have multiple languages when we can all speak Finnish. There are too fucking many languages. When I was a kid I was enthusiastic to learn tons of languages, now that I'm mature I'm practical. We can all waste our life time learning each others' languages, or we can all speak the same language. The only good use for multiple languages is that when you are watching a dubbed show, you can choose between multiple versions. You hate the female protagonist's voice in Japanese and the male's voice in English? Watch it in Italian or Spanish or French or Korean.
What would I do with it? Alright, I spent a billion hours of my limited time to learn a language just so I can read untranslated comics? The cost reward ratio is fucked up. Yeah, I want to be able to read untranslated comics, no, I don't want to sacrifice my life to learn it.
Fourth. I'm a genius at learning a language's basics, I'm the world's worst at learning to speak language at a fluent level. Give me any language, and I can speak it in basic level in one day. Give me any language, any amount of studying, and I couldn't speak it in a fluent way in a thousand hours.
Every time I'd try learning a new language, I'd learn the basics instantly, and then never improve. It's infuriating. And what's annoying that I can remember basic even a dozen years after I last encountered the language.
Not even that puts a dent in my nihilism anymore.
