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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I have a 9 year old son.we lost my husband (the child's father) suddenly.
Our son can be a very charming and polite little man but his behavior has recently changed and he gets very angry and has started hitting me.I feel that I have not been stronger enough for him as I have struggled myself.I can honestly say that I tried my hardest.I am on antidepressants and have had counselling but still feel sucicidal.I don't believe my son is happy and I am so so so sad and feel as if I can't go on.it really don't know what the answer is.I recently told him we could end it there and then after he told me he hates life.I Know he is young and does not understand but the shit I am or should I say we are going through is not my fault.
I am on the very edge and feel in a dangerous place right now.we should maybe just go !
 
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Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
277
Please don“t take your son with you. It“s better to give him to other parents if you think you can“t stand it anymore. Taking your own life is ok, if there“s no other way (I“m sure I can“t kill myself, if I would have children), taking the life of your son is a no go, it“s simple murder...
 
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Caerula

Student
Mar 20, 2018
140
I agree with Hanger. We should be able to choose if we want life or death. Taking your son with you is the same as forcing him to live in this world. Your son has to make his own decisions. If life is just to much for you to bare maybe you can consider asking other people to take care of your son, but please give him time and leave him to decide for himself.....
 
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yabujin

yabujin

Member
Oct 21, 2024
89
Fatherless son – inсel
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
14,419
Are you receiving much support from your family or friends? It sounds like such a hard time for you both. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm no expert on grief but my Mum died when I was 3, so I have some idea on how hard it is. Maybe this anger your son is expressing is part of his grieving process rather than actually being directed at you or life. It's such a massive thing to process at that age.

It's clear you need and deserve support in this though. If you don't have family or friends around, could you look whether there are local support groups with similar problems. It's got to be so hard trying to cope on your own.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
5,159
Are you receiving much support from your family or friends? It sounds like such a hard time for you both. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm no expert on grief but my Mum died when I was 3, so I have some idea on how hard it is. Maybe this anger your son is expressing is part of his grieving process rather than actually being directed at you or life. It's such a massive thing to process at that age.

It's clear you need and deserve support in this though. If you don't have family or friends around, could you look whether there are local support groups with similar problems. It's got to be so hard trying to cope on your own.
This thread was created years ago and they no longer use this site. They were last on here in 2020. From what I've gathered, they had decided to keep on living for their son since they realized that killing themself would have negatively impacted him (shouldn't have taken them that long to realize that which pisses me off, but I digress). She doesn't use this site anymore and is hopefully still alive and raising her son.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
14,419
This thread was created years ago and they no longer use this site. They were last on here in 2020. From what I've gathered, they had decided to keep on living for their son since they realized that killing themself would have negatively impacted him (shouldn't have taken them that long to realize that which pisses me off, but I digress). She doesn't use this site anymore and is hopefully still alive and raising her son.

Thanks for that. I forgot to check the date it was posted. I hope they both are doing better now.
 
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