Discussion An Incessant and Existential Crisis level of Fearing Death after being Suicidal.

[forwillow777]

Just felt compelled to share this as i feel that not everyone talks about how life is navigated by someone who isn't suicidal anymore. Background. In High school i almost went through several times i almost Attempted and one time actually Attempted but didn't follow through, that last one ended me up in a psych ward. Fast forward Six Years i am going through a major Ego Death of my past self and new career, new outlook on life, everything. Recently One night ofc as i was trying to sleep i just get this thought of death and what is the meaning of everything etc. Which then led me into an almost debilitating fear that one day i'll be dead and that time moves so fast that i could practically blink and i'd be there, now that i have a brighter outlook on life and actually wanting to live i am now almost constantly plagued with the thought of death and severe existentialism, not in a suicidal way but in a need of self preservation? But that is practically and biologically against any sort of survival instinct. Where was this incessant fear of death when i actually wanted to die? That is how we are supposed to be wired, hell that is the animal instinct for every single other creature on this planet. But now that i'm out of that headspace i am plagued with severe existentialism and anxiety about dying. I know there is some force beyond us because i've experienced the supernatural before but that thought still lingers. Has anyone else been through this? What are your Thoughts?