C
Carlotta16
The Best I Can Do is Nothing
- Mar 16, 2022
- 134
I don't know if im 'wired' wrong or what, but I don't see why ctb for me is such a huge deal. No one actually cares anyway if I do or don't (if they did they would care.whilst I was still alive) but it's this that is stopping me from ctb. I have everything I need yet it's looked at as such a big thing that it scares me. Don't get me wrong I understand it's a huge deal for other people, but it's not for me. I just see it as an inevitable event that is going to happen sooner or later and I don't know why I am stopping myself because of the way society sees it. I'm basically just floating in life. Nothing is getting better and it's not going to as I can't undo the situations that I'm in just as much as I can't live with them either. I wish I could just fast forward a few years so I've already done it and the one person I have has moved on and is happy. I don't think for one second that my death will affect anyone else. So why am I so scared? The feeling (or not) of just nothing appeals to me so much, so why do I torture myself by staying?