Discussion Am i the only one who completely gave up on themselves?

[Endstati0n]

Usually after many months of severe depression, isolation and self hatred i used to always come to a point where i suddenly became very motivated to do something about my situation. I suddenl get very into therapy and try very hard to work on my issues and once i even became hardcore vegan for 3 years. It's always been an up and down. Suicidal, depressed for months and then really motivated to change and maybe even optimistic that this time something will work.

I'm 30 now, and after going through the same up and down bullshit and trying really hard to fix myself, after being suicidal for months, i think i'm more isolated, hopeless and depressed than i've ever been, even after trying talk therapy for 3 years, working out, going on daily walks, eating healthy, meds, meditation, yoga, working on my social skills.... now i just gave up. Nothing worked for me and i don't have any more energy left to try anything. I don't care if i get better someday. I've come to the coclusion that for some people there is no cure. When you've had a bad childhood, well you're gonna suffer for the rest of your life because of it. Some days its better but when you've experienced trauma or had bad parents when you were a kid, it will make the rest of your life 10x harder. I'm at the point where i'm just waiting for this life to be over. Maybe some day i'll find the courage to end it myself, we'll see. I'm working on an application for MAID tho.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Usually after many months of severe depression, isolation and self hatred i used to always come to a point where i suddenly became very motivated to do something about my situation. I suddenl get very into therapy and try very hard to work on my issues and once i even became hardcore vegan for 3 years. It's always been an up and down. Suicidal, depressed for months and then really motivated to change and maybe even optimistic that this time something will work.

Oh yes, so relatable, but I also feel like this time I passed the point of no return.

I'm 30 now, and after going through the same up and down bullshit and trying really hard to fix myself, after being suicidal for months, i think i'm more isolated, hopeless and depressed than i've ever been, even after trying talk therapy for 3 years, working out, going on daily walks, eating healthy, meds, meditation, yoga, working on my social skills.... now i just gave up. Nothing worked for me and i don't have any more energy left to try anything. I don't care if i get better someday. I've come to the coclusion that for some people there is no cure.

34, I would still like to get better very much, I just don't see it happening because most the efforts and some others you've been describing I've also tried time and again and nothing really seems to sustainably improve anything, rather the opposite. I'm also just burned out at this point and can't even do what's needed to maintain myself daily to hold this miserable status quo. Just rotting away at this point.

 

[KarmaKat]

every step of the way.

the little progress I've made turned to be for nothing in the end and the exhaustion is real. those issues never seem to go away, no matter what changes.

you're really strong for trying as hard as you did, but life just seems to have it out for some of us.

 

[Hollowman]

Nope

 

[deviantblue]

Usually after many months of severe depression, isolation and self hatred i used to always come to a point where i suddenly became very motivated to do something about my situation. I suddenl get very into therapy and try very hard to work on my issues and once i even became hardcore vegan for 3 years. It's always been an up and down. Suicidal, depressed for months and then really motivated to change and maybe even optimistic that this time something will work.

that up and down motivation then depression really hit me hard, i feel like that's the only way i've been functioning as a kid
i've only realized that i'm probably not fit for the corporate world either, nor can i graduate college anytime soon
went into my college's counseling multiple times, but they only try to save their faces and blame me for my own problems

it sucks to be full of potential, to be an "almost", or to really want to get better when the world only knows to toy with you
i hope you