Discussion am I homeless and I don't even realize it?

[Insomniac]

I'm 24, live with my parents and my deepest fear is to be homeless and starve to death.

but I've started to wonder, what is homelessness exactly? It's uncertainty, fear, hunger, anxiety, physical discomfort and shame.

but I experience these things on a daily basis. I have severe anxiety despite not working (psychological abuse from parents), I barely eat and am practically anorexic (because of how tense I am, I cannot even eat in the presence of my mom. I always wait until 2am to sneak into the kitchen to eat). There's enough food obviously, it's just that I'm scared of my mom and my body just refuses to eat.

Physical discomfort - I regularly cut myself when I suffer psychologically. I can't help it. My body hurts because of the severe anxiety also and anorexia.

Shame - I can't show myself anywhere. I'm too ashamed of what I have become and most of the time, I hide in my room.

So, why am I so scared of being homeless and starving to death if technically, I'm experiencing all those things already.

somebody kill me already.

 

[Pluto]

We think of homelessness as having to sleep on the streets, but it's really more of a spectrum. Milder versions of homeless include couch-surfing. Then there is being stuck living in a dubious arrangement, and even owning a house but having so little family or community that it is still not a home (a.k.a. yours truly).

When I was your age I had the same fear and it eventually led me to work like a dog to buy my own place at any cost. But aside from having a secure living arrangement, I still feel homeless even now.

A real home is being with the right people and having the right support. If there is any practical solution to your situation (before resorting to CTB), it would be moving out of home any way you can, having some sort of income, getting some psychological support and being around other people your own age.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Homelessness can be philisophized as a state of mind for sure. I live in isolation even though I live with family. I dont do anything other than stay in my room, scroll shit on my phone, eat and smoke. I am living as a homed homeless if that makes any sense

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a horrible situation you are in. Life is just so cruel. I'm sorry you are going through this, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.