Help Am I broken because I love easily?

[soft-flower345]

When it comes to romantic love, I've always been the type to fall hard and fast. I know what I want in a lover, and when I meet someone who I can really deeply connect with and understand/be understood by, I fall in love.

But anyone I've ever revealed this to has run away from me. What is wrong with me? It seems like everyone else takes their time to ensure they are falling in love, are they scared? Are they unsure of their feelings? Is it an unspoken game you're supposed to play with each other, concealing your true feelings to create a rush from uncertainty to be romantic? I don't understand. If I feel confident I understand most of the fundamental nature, behavioral patterns, preferences, quirks, and negative aspects of a person, and I choose to accept them and what I'll have to do to accomadate for their individuality, I want to throw myself in head first. I'm opening myself up to heartbreak but I don't care, I want to dive into us with no remorse or trepidation. I want to let those feelings wash over me entirely, allowing that person a permentent place in the space of my mind. But if I actually communicate this, the intensity and depth of my feelings(not just romantic but in general) they run away. Am I too emotional? Am I supposed to be scared to love? Scared to get hurt? Does this mean I'm definitionaly desperate? I don't understand why my experience is so different from others. What do you think?

This has become such a problem with dating for me that I'm more scared of the person I'm interested in finding out that I love them than I am anything else because I know that the moment they discover I love them, how much I love or am starting to love them, they leave. Is my love that disgusting? Are my feelings fundamentally wrong?

 

[MrDarkness]

It depends how you come off, kind silent actions go a long way, just my opinion, I gave up on love, I cut myself every I have feelings for a person, I do it to remind myself how much of a failure I am, and how I can't compete. I hope your able to find love, and not be an empty husk like me

 

[Rack.-]

The thing about love is that it's complicated. You need to build a strong relationship with that special person you feel connected with in order to declare your feelings. Because when someone hears the feelings of another personn towards them without any prior connection they usually tend to decline due to that there's still no confidence that has been built between both of them.

Love can be very complex mainly because when you look for your special someone you want that person to be someone you can believe and trust so it can develop in a long-term relationship. I guess this is why sudden declarations tend to fail

This is only my personal opinion on the subject, I'm no expert or anything and I've never been into an affectionate relationship with anyone but I hope I could help a bit

 

[SexyIncél]

Ok, if this happens a lot, it seems there's a pattern to solve. Please excuse me if I misunderstand you

At first, it's best to avoid the meta stuff. When you say "permanent", it seems like you're creating an enduring social structure. Like if someone wanted to hire you for life

If you understand someone deeply — and it's impressive how deeply you delve into their minds — then you can act in a way that would cause them pleasure & reduce suffering. This'd be the true test of understanding someone. With sustained pleasure, naturally people increasingly institutionalize it into something enduring

In most societies, people are generally less romantic — and more pragmatic — than we'd hope. (one, two) Claims otherwise should be considered as credible as corporate PR or employees' self-reported "passion". A good person's hard to find — so it helps to understand some fundamentals of enduring relationships

 

[stage4johnny]

Keep trying.