Am I a Pussy for CTB?

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Things are really hard right now all from things I did myself. What I did objectively isn't the most heinous thing possible but it hurt the person irreparably who I love the most and made them hate me permanently. I don't think I can carry on knowing I did this to them. I also have friends who are leaving me because of this ordeal. It feels like a pussy move to CTB but my rationale is fuck them! When I'm dead none of that shit will matter anyways. But also by CTB I'm not allowing myself to grow and improve. It'd sure be nice to prove these people wrong but I'm not sure if I have the willpower to attempt that. What do you guys think?

 

[edu0z]

Things are really hard right now all from things I did myself. What I did objectively isn't the most heinous thing possible but it hurt the person irreparably who I love the most and made them hate me permanently. I don't think I can carry on knowing I did this to them. I also have friends who are leaving me because of this ordeal. It feels like a pussy move to CTB but my rationale is fuck them! When I'm dead none of that shit will matter anyways. But also by CTB I'm not allowing myself to grow and improve. It'd sure be nice to prove these people wrong but I'm not sure if I have the willpower to attempt that. What do you guys think?

Everyone can do what they want with their life... but this is my opinion so: I think that unless you are in an inevitably irreparable situation(that there is no solution or that the solution is very far from your control), CTB is a cowardly option.

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Everyone can do what they want with their life... but this is my opinion so: I think that unless you are in an inevitably irreparable situation(that there is no solution or that the solution is very far from your control), CTB is a cowardly option.

That's fair. Idk I feel like it's just such a quick way out of all this though. I understand there are people that need to CTB for greater reasons but this is the most difficult thing I've gone through. Especially knowing that I was the one that caused all this it makes me feel like I genuinely bring no value to earth and that I'm better off gone if all I leave is hurt for others. (Sorry if that all sounds edgy or whiny lmao)

 

[edu0z]

That's fair. Idk I feel like it's just such a quick way out of all this though. I understand there are people that need to CTB for greater reasons but this is the most difficult thing I've gone through. Especially knowing that I was the one that caused all this it makes me feel like I genuinely bring no value to earth and that I'm better off gone if all I leave is hurt for others. (Sorry if that all sounds edgy or whiny lmao)

I understand you. I hurt a girl I loved and for a long time that became the main reason for hating myself. She forgave me over time but to this day I have not been able to forgive myself, as a friend would say: "you are being too hard on yourself."

 

[Andrew10]

CTB is something extremely difficult which requires a lot of bravery and courage to take the step, you know that there is no turning back. In my opinion, the people who caught their bus are brave and admirable people for taking that step, at the end of the day everyone's life is unique and everyone decides what they want to do with it. I think you're only a pussy if you have killed, raped or are a pedophile to someone and you want to ctb to avoid the consequences knowing that the damage has already been done. These people do not deserve the embrace of peace and they deserve to pay for what they have done, except for that, anything is valid and is not worthy of being called "pussy". More like a warrior who gave everything he/she could.

Peace

 

[AtomicWaffles]

Quite the opposite if you ask me, if you were the pussy you wouldn't ctb cause to take a major action such as ctb takes bravery. You have the right to make this choice and if you want to stick around go right ahead and if you wanna ctb go right ahead, you aren't a pussy for doing what you wish with your body.

 

[Kalista]

Bottom line, it's absolutely your choice to do what ever the fuck you want with your life. Everything else is society's opinions about life that has been instilled in you. Whatever your reason is, if you want to exit, go make your exit.

It's, your, choice -- whatever the reason. That's the point of it all.

It's difficult because of fear and other challenges such as SI. This is not an easy thing to do for a lot of people. Once you work through that fear by willpower or drugs, then you can do it.

You are correct. Once you're dead, you're dead. There's nothing for you to care about anymore. Whatever happens after you exit is no longer your concern. Only when you're alive that it becomes a concern and that's why you're still here hesitating.

 

[FuneralCry]

Nobody is obligated to continue existing here, it's a personal decision deciding to ctb or not, we all have our right to die anyway. I don't understand what makes people think suicide is cowardly in the first place as it's a very valid individual choice which isn't straightforward at all at least to me, in fact I see ceasing to exist as so unnecessarily difficult.

 

[oddetoad]

it's the bravest thing you can do in this life

 

[The Schizoid]

Everyone can do what they want with their life... but this is my opinion so: I think that unless you are in an inevitably irreparable situation(that there is no solution or that the solution is very far from your control), CTB is a cowardly option.

I think it can definitely be cowardly, but I wouldn't say all suicides that outside what you described are cowardly.

Some people may not be in excruciating pain or anything, but they would just prefer not to be alive anymore because they don't take enough satisfaction from it and they've tried to make it better but nothing seems to work.

I know you might say that falls into the category of irreparable situation, but I assume you mean situations that evoke a certain severity of suffering.

What would think of someone who has, for example, moderate depression for 10+ years. They're not in extreme pain, they can function, but life simply just doesn't offer enough satisfaction, and no professional help will work.

Another e.g. I've seen a lot of examples of Schizoids who killed themselves. Their condition brings with it anhedonia that doesn't cause them to suffer much but makes it so little if anything gives them satisfaction, and there really isn't any treatment.

Their decision to kill themselves is a rational decision. They simply would prefer not to live.

So would you consider it cowardly for a person to CTB, not because life is too painful, but simply because not being alive is a preference to some people?

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

I did something very similar. I have been tormented by it for years.

I don't think CTB is a matter of cowardice or bravery or anything. It's more to do with getting to a point when you cannot handle your life situation anymore at all. Even when you are suffering and feeling despair for a long time, like you want to CTB, your SI won't allow it because your brain can still cope with it.