Venting Am I a horrible friend?

[Misery99]

I have known a friend from Sanctioned suicide for almost 5 years. I had shared every little detail about my life with him which made me lead to have severe depression, anxiety and suicidal thougths. He lives in another country and now had visited my own country for a vacation and he wanted to meet me. I want to meet him too because I never had a friend like him in my life but I'm naturally a very anxious person who also happened to get anxiety and panic attacks since recent years.

I take the medication for it too but my anxiety is too much to handle most of the time. So I asked to meet him at a public place which is close to the hotel which he is staying at for the first time but he doesn't seem to like that idea and I feel horrible because he had gotten the impression of me not trusting him enough to meet him after all the money, effort and the time he had spent to reach here. I understand his disappointment but it's just my bad anxiety and I really want to meet him.

 

[snwcolt]

Nah bro there's no reason he should take any offense at meeting somewhere public. It's completely reasonable when meeting anyone you've only spoken to online.

 

[Misery99]

Nah bro there's no reason he should take any offense at meeting somewhere public. It's completely reasonable when meeting anyone you've only spoken to online.

Yeah but I think that he hates going to the public places because he's self conscious about his looks. But I think that he looks okay. I hate going to the public places too and only do so if it's essential. I had talked with him on the video call though. So I know that he's a real and genuine person.

 

[snwcolt]

That's a good sign...I'd recommend a spot that's public but doesn't require interacting with others. Like a public park instead of a restaurant. Other ppl around but you don't have to talk to any of them

 

[Tao]

I don't think your a horrible friend. It sounds like you both have boundaries and unquie needs that have to be balanced and that's healthy and very human. Hopefully there is a compromise. Like snwcolt said, maybe a park might work?
I don't know if this sounds silly but he could wear a mask if that makes him feel more comfortable. When I lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone I'd wear a mask as to feel more incognito.
Maybe you could meet in the hotel lobby?

 

[whywere]

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the love and happiness in this world.

Just please be safe is all.

Hugs, love and well wishes my good friend,

Walter