Venting Am I a d*ck for my friends?

[TheMetalhead]

My friends have been trying to extend my life for as long as possible though various ways. Organizing trips together for all of us, living together in a wooden hut for almost a week, meeting just to eat out favourite food despite being apart hundreds of kilometers away. Gradually they started to accept me more as this one suicidal friend, who's going to pass away soon. They still reach out to me, we talk pretty much everyday, but they know I'll be gone soon.
I truly don't deserve those kind of friends and that saddens me even more.
What if I tried to live as much as they try to help me?

 

[FuneralCry]

After all nobody is obligated to continue existing here and wanting to die is always a valid way to feel, I think that if someone wants to leave on their own terms it doesn't make them a bad person or selfish, it's just their personal decision in which they have every right to make, if one wants to continue existing then that's up to them.

 

[hmskms]

whatever theyre doing for you is obviously not working. that's all the thought it is worth. how they feel is not your issue.

 

[bbeb0bc7b]

The thing you're wrong about is that you believe you don't deserve those friends. You do. You deserve to be happy in life, everyone does.
Whether or not you start trying to live & get better is up to you. But, if you have the capacity for it, I'd recommend that you try. You can always ctb later, if it turns out not to be of help.
Spending time with friends is the thing that helped me recover to the point that life can be fun again. I don't know if it'll last and work for you, but I wish you good luck, regardless of your choice.