Discussion Am I a bad/evil person if I ctb?

[kirillbledny]

For context, I volunteer with my dogs at social housing for mentally disabled adults. Some of the people there got quite attached to me, and I feel so bad thinking about the social workers who are gonna have to tell them I died. Same for the kids I babysit, their mom texted me recently about how they always ask about me and when I'll be there next etc. Idrc about my family's feelings cuz they never cared about mine, but I just can't take it anymore. It sucks that ctb will inevitably hurt the people who I care about and who light up my shitty existence.

 

[Macedonian1987]

If you ctb in order to hurt someone on purpose or do it out of spite, then you are an evil person. if you ctb because you are suffering imensly and you want to stop the pain that does not make you an evil person. Just a very tormented one

 

[kirillbledny]

If you ctb in order to hurt someone on purpose or do it out of spite, then you are an evil person. if you ctb because you are suffering imensly and you want to stop the pain that does not make you an evil person. Just a very tormented one

Thanks for the reply, I agree with you, I just feel like such an asshole whenever I think about these people in my life having to deal with me ctb. I just wish I never existed in the first place

 

[pepperfarmer]

About as evil as it would be to drop out of all of those things for whatever reason, which to me, it would be not.

Killing yourself almost always hurts someone in some form. It is what it is, and what nearly everyone in here has to deal with if they decide to go through with it. There's no point in moralizing it, though. Shame isn't going to keep you around either way.

 

[MonkeyButter]

Compared to all the other evil shit people are doing these days suicide is pretty tame.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel you because I've always tried to be a good person, honest, friendly. But sometimes I wish I was a total asshole, so my death could be easier to manage for people who will stay behind. There is nothing to do with evilness. It's the total opposite. You're probably too good for this world. Of course these people will suffer if you ctb, but they will also thank you for all what you did for them. You can be proud of yourself. Thanks for giving your time to these disabled persons. I see suicide as a consequence of mental disease or other issues. It's not good or bad. It just happens everyday, so it doesn't mean you're a bad person. I wish you peace whatever must happen