ondodera
Unfortunately alive.
- Mar 17, 2018
- 24
So glad that this site is still up and kicking, I can't tell a single fucking soul how much I think about suicide all the fucking time. It irks the back of my mind every waking god damn moment that I'm not distracting myself with video games or some other form of media.
Nobody under fucking stands in this god damned forsaken family how much I hate even the thought of breathing every single moment of every day.
My suicidal ideations have gotten tremendously worse over the past year as well. I went from being a shithead neet who just spent whatever money he was allowed to spend, to being in so much debt from trying to help payback what I feel that I owe to my parent that I consistently feel like I'm fucking drowning.
I have to wait 6 fucking months to see if I can even get financial fucking assistance (disability) because "fuck you" - the government as it 'processes' my application. I doubt they'll even approve me either considering how much I've heard of people struggling to even get neetbucks.
I wish I decided to kill myself years ago when I had the chance, I had everything fucking planned out. Now I have to sit here and suffer for even longer because of how stupid I am.
18 fucking k in debt, which doesn't even sound like a lot to some people but those people aren't mentally ill and can actually work without wanting to toss themselves off a guard rail.
I feel incredibly lucky to know that I can still come here and read about everyone else.
Nobody under fucking stands in this god damned forsaken family how much I hate even the thought of breathing every single moment of every day.
My suicidal ideations have gotten tremendously worse over the past year as well. I went from being a shithead neet who just spent whatever money he was allowed to spend, to being in so much debt from trying to help payback what I feel that I owe to my parent that I consistently feel like I'm fucking drowning.
I have to wait 6 fucking months to see if I can even get financial fucking assistance (disability) because "fuck you" - the government as it 'processes' my application. I doubt they'll even approve me either considering how much I've heard of people struggling to even get neetbucks.
I wish I decided to kill myself years ago when I had the chance, I had everything fucking planned out. Now I have to sit here and suffer for even longer because of how stupid I am.
18 fucking k in debt, which doesn't even sound like a lot to some people but those people aren't mentally ill and can actually work without wanting to toss themselves off a guard rail.
I feel incredibly lucky to know that I can still come here and read about everyone else.
