Discussion Almost wanted to ctb this morning but I want everything perfect when I do

[UnwindingStar]

You would think once your ready, you'd just do it , lol. But lately when I'm on the edge I find myself unable to bring myself to do it. It's the lack of planning, lack of materials. I really want to do more research on methods but I'm leaning more towards using SN to finally Ctb. I just don't want to be impulsive anymore with my decision, because it never works and I have always survived when I do things this way. Is anyone else struggling with wanting to finally cry but the lack of planning/methods is keeping you from just doing it?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case it's certainly always been the inaccessibility of suicide methods keeping me here as well as the fear of plans to die going wrong, just leading to more suffering as a result. I wish suicide is as straightforward as just choosing to leave but instead we exist in this society where it's cruelly made as difficult as possible, I hate how we just cannot have the option to just peacefully cease existing.