Venting Almost my birthday never felt more like shit

[manslxt]

All I can fucking think about is hurting myself or fucking hanging myself. I wanted to do it on my birthday. Really thinking about it. Haven't talked to my friend since the 1st. I just feel like shit since they're barely texting me either. And every time I leave my room my mum makes some fucking comment about me. Genuinely I woke up walked out and she had to fucking say something. Every day. Every fucking day. Fuck I don't think I'll even get a break for it on my birthday. Not like over gotten a present for my birthday in the past 4 years. Just a minute ago I was fucking playing games with my cousin and seeing my friend go offline after he said he'd come back fucking crushed me. I want to be happy on my birthday but how it's going I don't think ill get more than an hour with my friends since I'm probably not doing an7ything irl. I feel like nothing but a burden I wake up and want to fucking kill myself. I'm a fucking leech and I deserve to die but I'm fucking scared. Fucking birthdays I try so hard to enjoy my birthday. 2 years ago I was broken up with just 4 days before my birthday but I had to pretend it was okay despite planning to kill myself every day before my birthday, next year I couldn't fucking feel good. No reason other than I was scared to get older. And fuck same here. And it always seems my friends dissappear right before my birthday. I don't think it gets better

 

[darksouls]

All I can fucking think about is hurting myself or fucking hanging myself. I wanted to do it on my birthday. Really thinking about it. Haven't talked to my friend since the 1st. I just feel like shit since they're barely texting me either. And every time I leave my room my mum makes some fucking comment about me. Genuinely I woke up walked out and she had to fucking say something. Every day. Every fucking day. Fuck I don't think I'll even get a break for it on my birthday. Not like over gotten a present for my birthday in the past 4 years. Just a minute ago I was fucking playing games with my cousin and seeing my friend go offline after he said he'd come back fucking crushed me. I want to be happy on my birthday but how it's going I don't think ill get more than an hour with my friends since I'm probably not doing an7ything irl. I feel like nothing but a burden I wake up and want to fucking kill myself. I'm a fucking leech and I deserve to die but I'm fucking scared. Fucking birthdays I try so hard to enjoy my birthday. 2 years ago I was broken up with just 4 days before my birthday but I had to pretend it was okay despite planning to kill myself every day before my birthday, next year I couldn't fucking feel good. No reason other than I was scared to get older. And fuck same here. And it always seems my friends dissappear right before my birthday. I don't think it gets better

I am very sorry that your mother and your friends treat you so badly
however you decide
I wish you the best
sending you love and hugs

 

[manslxt]

My mum and friends aren't awful. She's awful right now but I know she cares. And my friends are my everything. I'm not sure why it's like this right now. They have their own personal stuff