Alcohol makes my suicidal ideation worse.

[the_path_of_sorrows]

After having four shots of whiskey and a bottle of beer, that's all what I've got to say. Been out with my friends, everything went quite well just until I came back home and impulsively started to make a death scene with a cigarette between my teeth like that's normal. Completely dissociated during the process and only sat down on the floor for another drink after realising that there's something weird on my face - tears rolling down my cheeks.

Only now have I realised that I almost called my best friend to say goodbye for the last time. Actually seemed like a great idea.

This is terrifying. I've had in mind one specific date for 7 years already but whenever I get drunk my plans change instantly. The rational me gives up and the emotional oh-so-ready-to-finish-it-all me takes over. This isn't happening for the 1st time. This is the main reason why I try to avoid daily drinking. Pure hell.

 

[edu0z]

hi, friend. The psychiatrist told me that for people with dissociative disorders, aclohol worsens the situation a lot... it's advice that I myself don't follow since I tend to get quite drunk... but anyway, she warned me.

 

[thejumper]

Alcohol used to put me into a pit of existential despair quite frequently in the past. When I drank, the whole world around me was distant from my ego; all I could see around me while drunk was the excruciating abusirdity of existence. Disassociation was real at that point - I just couldn't comprehend the reality of my situation when I was hammered.

I've stopped drinking, and it's helped me tremendously so far. It only makes things worse.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

hi, friend. The psychiatrist told me that for people with dissociative disorders, aclohol worsens the situation a lot... it's advice that I myself don't follow since I tend to get quite drunk... but anyway, she warned me.

Thank you for reminding me! Drinking isn't fun anymore.. To hell with that. Take care.

Alcohol used to put me into a pit of existential despair quite frequently in the past. When I drank, the whole world around me was distant from my ego; all I could see around me while drunk was the excruciating abusirdity of existence. Disassociation was real at that point - I just couldn't comprehend the reality of my situation when I was hammered.

I've stopped drinking, and it's helped me tremendously so far. It only makes things worse.

I understand you so well. Alcohol is a truly fucked up mind altering drug, not worth it. So glad to hear that you've stopped drinking, this shit definitely has more cons than pros.

 

[Lo Priest]

After having four shots of whiskey and a bottle of beer, that's all what I've got to say. Been out with my friends, everything went quite well just until I came back home and impulsively started to make a death scene with a cigarette between my teeth like that's normal. Completely dissociated during the process and only sat down on the floor for another drink after realising that there's something weird on my face - tears rolling down my cheeks.

Only now have I realised that I almost called my best friend to say goodbye for the last time. Actually seemed like a great idea.

This is terrifying. I've had in mind one specific date for 7 years already but whenever I get drunk my plans change instantly. The rational me gives up and the emotional oh-so-ready-to-finish-it-all me takes over. This isn't happening for the 1st time. This is the main reason why I try to avoid daily drinking. Pure hell.

if it wasn't for alcohol i'd be dead years ago. i drink exclusively alone now. everyday. i think an all day intox is for those i've always deemed my anterior, annoying babblers, children, just useless. i take in my day's lament and lack and simmering resolve, then when night comes, drink shots upon it, and reflect. it's almost fun to prod the baggages in another state to see what else i can seep from them, either from above or below, ironing out the missive failures, or mocking myself and my surroundings for being so daft. it revolves. it really does. you can understand deeper your whys, or you can challenge yourself at what nonsenses you allow in. but i get what you mean, returning from a night out with buddies hollow, sent back to. i remember being 15, 16, 17, returning home from a night out with two of my friends, and crying alone over a cigarette. whether it be because i lost that rare brotherhood feeling for the night, or because i've felt distant and alien inside that group i'd have once called peers. back being me, ya know? i get it. it's a real electro static wiggly nerve feeling in conjunction with that sad pit of chest sinking sensation you'd feel all day if fargone enough. i think things do vary day to day. but alcohol is for me: not for everyone. it'll send me deeper than i thought, have me cutting deeper than i had before, or laughing at my idiocy, haughtier than i once had before. it all varies.