Help ahhhhbbhfhh

[nails]

it's only 9am and i've been freaking out for the past 3 hours. every morning is like this for me: anxiety attacks and breaking down until i'm puking and too weak to stand or even move. after it's all over, i spend the rest of the day lightheaded with my body aching and a terrible migraine.

i've tried the traditional route of acknowledging what was causing these breakdowns. that didn't help, i'm just more pissed off. i can't fix these problems or even ease them and that makes me feel worse.
i've tried reaching out to others during these moments but i just get ignored.
i've tried self harming for endorphins/just to have any distraction to whatever it is i'm thinking about. that used to help, but now it doesn't.
i consider taking my sleep meds, but obviously i can't just be knocked out for the entire day. plus, i just end up breaking down as soon as i wake up.
none of my hobbies are good distractions anymore. creative outlets make me feel worse. my favorite video games and shows just upset me, everything reminds me of what's making me feel so terrible.
making posts here is the most helpful thing, but even that doesn't help as much as it used to.

please, i'm open to any ideas. i can't spend every morning like this until i can finally ctb.
i don't even know if anything i'm saying makes sense.

 

[needthebus]

it's only 9am and i've been freaking out for the past 3 hours. every morning is like this for me: anxiety attacks and breaking down until i'm puking and too weak to stand or even move. after it's all over, i spend the rest of the day lightheaded with my body aching and a terrible migraine.

i've tried the traditional route of acknowledging what was causing these breakdowns. that didn't help, i'm just more pissed off. i can't fix these problems or even ease them and that makes me feel worse.
i've tried reaching out to others during these moments but i just get ignored.
i've tried self harming for endorphins/just to have any distraction to whatever it is i'm thinking about. that used to help, but now it doesn't.
i consider taking my sleep meds, but obviously i can't just be knocked out for the entire day. plus, i just end up breaking down as soon as i wake up.
none of my hobbies are good distractions anymore. creative outlets make me feel worse. my favorite video games and shows just upset me, everything reminds me of what's making me feel so terrible.
making posts here is the most helpful thing, but even that doesn't help as much as it used to.

please, i'm open to any ideas. i can't spend every morning like this until i can finally ctb.
i don't even know if anything i'm saying makes sense.

is what is upsetting you specific, like for a reason? or is it just vague and general?

it might help to let us know what is making you so upset

 

[nails]

is what is upsetting you specific, like for a reason? or is it just vague and general?

it might help to let us know what is making you so upset

mostly just one thing that i've vented about a few times before. i want to live, but i can't because of that one, unfixable thing and that's what upsets me. there's no fixing it and bringing it up just makes things worse because no amount of advice or support can help it.

thank you for reaching out

 

[sadalways]

I used to puke from anxiety too, every single morning. That was in my teen years, and what helped me were meds. At first i was prescribed some very weak meds that i'm convinced were just placebo, lmao. After that i got on sertraline and xanax for a small amount of time and i stopped puking from anxiety. I don't take xanax anymore for years now, only sertraline. Now, i'm actually not 100% sure if it were meds, i still feel REALLY REALLY anxious but the puking problems are long gone.

Just my own experience. Everyone is different though, what helped me might not help others at all, but i really really hope you find something that helps you.

 

[needthebus]

mostly just one thing that i've vented about a few times before. i want to live, but i can't because of that one, unfixable thing and that's what upsets me. there's no fixing it and bringing it up just makes things worse because no amount of advice or support can help it.

thank you for reaching out

ketamine if you can afford it

some people have tried microdosing things also which has risks