Venting after a month of recovery, i’m done.

[ineedssris]

as you can tell by the title of this post, i am done with life. i am done with trying. i wanted to make an impact on you guys and make you feel loved and cared about, i can't do that anymore and i'm sorry. i'm going to attempt to ctb. if anyone has any painless methods (im thinking about night night or ligature strangulation). you're probably wondering what could've made me snapped or pushed me to my limits right? i am a grown ass adult living with my parents because this economy sucks. my fucking dads girlfriend keeps snooping in my room and nobody cares bc she owns the house or some shit. she acts like a fucking saint but is the human embodiment of the devil. she is forcing me to leave my partner because SHE doesn't like that i am in a relationship despite being fucking 20 years old. i want basic privacy and i'm so tired of being told i deserve to ctb and i deserve this and that and how shitty of a child i am. i went through years of abuse at the hands of my bio mom now my fucking step mom. i can't take it anymore. i love you all. please give me some advice on ligature strangulation so i can do it correctly and safely.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

grown ass adult living with my parents

Tell me about it. I'm 36. Sorry, no advice on night-night, it seems low %. I'm a failed hanger btw, I tried for months and couldn't do it.

 

[ineedssris]

Tell me about it. I'm 36. Sorry, no advice on night-night, it seems low %. I'm a failed hanger btw, I tried for months and couldn't do it.

i'm sorry :( i wanted to do night night because it seems the easiest.. i've tried to strangle myself so many times before and every time i got closer i'd claw at my neck and rip the cord off….

im glad you failed though because at least you're still alive.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

i'm sorry :( i wanted to do night night because it seems the easiest.. i've tried to strangle myself so many times before and every time i got closer i'd claw at my neck and rip the cord off….

im glad you failed though because at least you're still alive.

That's nice of you, though maybe not the most SaSu sentiment!

 

[rigsid]

I emphasize with this. I'm 19 and living with my abusive mum. Her boyfriend is pretty awful. I'm so sorry.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

i'm sorry :( i wanted to do night night because it seems the easiest.. i've tried to strangle myself so many times before and every time i got closer i'd claw at my neck and rip the cord off….

im glad you failed though because at least you're still alive.

Maybe SN method is more helpful. I think night night might give some trouble doing it because u would resist like strangulation.

 

[ineedssris]

Maybe SN method is more helpful. I think night night might give some trouble doing it because u would resist like strangulation.

is sn affordable? i just got paid recently, i haven't done any research on sn at all…

I emphasize with this. I'm 19 and living with my abusive mum. Her boyfriend is pretty awful. I'm so sorry.

i wish you luck. you don't deserve that. keep your head high okay? <3

for as long as i'm here on this planet i will have your back.

That's nice of you, though maybe not the most SaSu sentiment!

haha yeah… probably not but i tend to try to make things as positive as possible.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

is sn affordable? i just got paid recently, i haven't done any research on sn at all…

i wish you luck. you don't deserve that. keep your head high okay? <3

for as long as i'm here on this planet i will have your back.

haha yeah… probably not but i tend to try to make things as positive as possible.

I got it from a local, and i think is affordable. I feel bad giving info on how to do that but u should check some info about sn and valutate that, I can't really give u more info because im not an expert. If u want to talk about anything in your life feel free to text me.

 

[ineedssris]

I got it from a local, and i think is affordable. I feel bad giving info on how to do that but u should check some info about sn and valutate that, I can't really give u more info because im not an expert. If u want to talk about anything in your life feel free to text me.

thank you. you don't need to feel bad, i know there's a sn megathread but i lost it. i'm pretty sure i have it in my computer somewhere. i appreciate your kindness. much love.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

thank you. you don't need to feel bad, i know there's a sn megathread but i lost it. i'm pretty sure i have it in my computer somewhere. i appreciate your kindness. much love.

Why do kind people like u get suicidal, while assholes live wonderful lives. This world is very fucking unfair.

 

[ineedssris]

Why do kind people like u get suicidal, while assholes live wonderful lives. This world is very fucking unfair.

because life chooses to punish the hard working people who try to be good people and reward the energy sucking piece of shit assholes. my mom gets to go shopping, buy a new tv, go to a fancy restaurant and what do i get? i get told i have to move out in a month and that my cat will be killed. it's whatever though im outside smoking a joint.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

because life chooses to punish the hard working people who try to be good people and reward the energy sucking piece of shit assholes. my mom gets to go shopping, buy a new tv, go to a fancy restaurant and what do i get? i get told i have to move out in a month and that my cat will be killed. it's whatever though im outside smoking a joint.

Forcing a 20 year old to move out is savage, especially when you're depressed. I think ill smoke a joint too. I can't sleep right now

 

[ineedssris]

Forcing a 20 year old to move out is savage, especially when you're depressed. I think ill smoke a joint too. I can't sleep right now

my mom thinks i'm lying about being depressed and a ton more, she refuses to believe i can be struggling bc i mask it so well. i don't think a mentally sane person makes a blood wall for themselves-

on a lighter note cheers mate <3 (excuse my dirty ass nails i work at sonic and was on fountain today)
hopefully you can sleep soon

 

[verdedefome]

is sn affordable? i just got paid recently, i haven't done any research on sn at all…

there's an SN megathread in the resources compilation, SN itself is quite affordable but you need dopamine blocker anti emetics like metoclopramide or similar drugs to not puke everything out and you need a prescription for those in most places, and I have no idea on how to get a doctor to give you one. PPH also says cannabis is an anti emetic but I don't know if it's strong enough for this.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

Even my parents didn't believed me when I told them. But they don't believe me because it's hard to accept that your son Is suicidal, I know they love me but sometimes I feel like they make me feel worse. Nice nails btw. I'd send u a picture but I would look like the Winnie the Pooh meme

 

[ineedssris]

there's an SN megathread in the resources compilation, SN itself is quite affordable but you need dopamine blocker anti emetics like metoclopramide or similar drugs to not puke everything out and you need a prescription for those in most places, and I have no idea on how to get a doctor to give you one. PPH also says cannabis is an anti emetic but I don't know if it's strong enough for this.

thank you for this! i will be keeping this in mind. what worries me is my step mom being an ex nurse. i don't think she'll care but on the off chance she finds me she'll have to try and revive me or my dad will probs leave her.

also cannabis? really? i have really strong edibles and i buy weed pretty often…

Even my parents didn't believed me when I told them. But they don't believe me because it's hard to accept that your son Is suicidal, I know they love me but sometimes I feel like they make me feel worse. Nice nails btw. I'd send u a picture but I would look like the Winnie the Pooh meme

i don't understand why it's so hard for them to understand that we can be suicidal and depressed. why is it so unbelievable?

i also relate to feeling like they make you worse.

every time something doesn't go right my mom takes it out on me or my dad. my friend said she sounds like she's going through menopause which is ALSO what my dad says. hopefully this'll be over soon?

also no worries :p

 

[verdedefome]

thank you for this! i will be keeping this in mind. what worries me is my step mom being an ex nurse. i don't think she'll care but on the off chance she finds me she'll have to try and revive me or my dad will probs leave her.

also cannabis? really? i have really strong edibles and i buy weed pretty often…

Supposedly yes, but don't take this as advice that you should use cannabis as an anti emetic, I did say I don't know if it's strong enough for SN. The issue isn't that it tastes bad, it's that it's killing you, so your body will naturally try to puke it out, so you need something to counteract that.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

thank you for this! i will be keeping this in mind. what worries me is my step mom being an ex nurse. i don't think she'll care but on the off chance she finds me she'll have to try and revive me or my dad will probs leave her.

also cannabis? really? i have really strong edibles and i buy weed pretty often…

i don't understand why it's so hard for them to understand that we can be suicidal and depressed. why is it so unbelievable?

i also relate to feeling like they make you worse.

every time something doesn't go right my mom takes it out on me or my dad. my friend said she sounds like she's going through menopause which is ALSO what my dad says. hopefully this'll be over soon?

also no worries :

thank you for this! i will be keeping this in mind. what worries me is my step mom being an ex nurse. i don't think she'll care but on the off chance she finds me she'll have to try and revive me or my dad will probs leave her.

also cannabis? really? i have really strong edibles and i buy weed pretty often…

i don't understand why it's so hard for them to understand that we can be suicidal and depressed. why is it so unbelievable?

i also relate to feeling like they make you worse.

every time something doesn't go right my mom takes it out on me or my dad. my friend said she sounds like she's going through menopause which is ALSO what my dad says. hopefully this'll be over soon?

also no worries :p

Got it. Well if u want to talk sometime message me, at least we can keep ourselves company. The sad part is that in url you can't really talk about this with anyone

 

[ineedssris]

Supposedly yes, but don't take this as advice that you should use cannabis as an anti emetic, I did say I don't know if it's strong enough for SN. The issue isn't that it tastes bad, it's that it's killing you, so your body will naturally try to puke it out, so you need something to counteract that.

understood. i might just throw that into the mix to be extra sure (as in that with an anti emetic)

 

[ineedssris]

Got it. Well if u want to talk sometime message me, at least we can keep ourselves company. The sad part is that in url you can't really talk about this with anyone

i would love to :>

and yes, you really can't or you run the risk of being put into a facility…

 

[Lost.Empyrean]

I can't even blame you man I have similar reasons