Help After a bad breakup, what did you need to hear from your friends?

[apearl]

Both of my two friends got broken up last weekend and are coming to me for support and I'm trying my best but I lowkey haven't been in a relationship since freshman year of highschool (which wasn't even that serious) and don't really know how to put myself in their shoes

What I've been doing is listening to all they have to tell me about it and saying their feelings are valid but they should look at this as a good opportunity for growth and maybe even better relationships in the future. (since both of them were in pretty shitty situations)

People who've been in pretty bad breakups, what did you need to hear from your friends? Also do you think I'm doing this wrong?

 

[Hvergelmir]

I wouldn't try to reframe a bad situation as an opportunity.
Instead, I'd try to separate the two. I'd be sure to point out, and encourage seizing opportunities, but I wouldn't associate them with a bad situation.

You're not wrong in that there's opportunity for growth. I just wouldn't expect anyone to see that, while overwhelmed by a break up.

Also, don't over-analyze. There are so many ways to go about this, and they choose to come to you because of who you are, and how you think about things.
Different people need to hear different things.

 

[webb&flow]

Wishing you and you and your friends the best

One thing I want to add is this. You get to decide how you feel. You are under no obligation to take up the opinions of others. You can still be aware of their opinions and why they they hold them; but you don't need to necessarily become their 100% representative. I am sure you are a kind and fair person (who—certainly means well, and certainly cares, especially for their friends ), and so, I wish you all the best in your discretion—! Take care of yourself too. ^^

 

[Heidi48]

from experience - you just want someone to listen and offer empthay