Discussion Afraid of what happens after we kill ourselves?

[Mio03]

I have a working plan in mind, but what's holding me back is WHAT happens to my consciousness. Where do I go? Being influenced by religion growing up, I was afraid I'd go to hell and be burning miserably forever. Now I believe in reincarnation, as if I'd come back a new body. The fear is still in there, questions plaguing me as if: "What if I go to hell?" "What if there's nothing?" "What if I never come back?". These fears hold me back strongly for the fear of the unknown. What do you guys think?

 

[LoverofAnimals]

If I kill myself, and I will be judged for it and punished, after all the endless suffering I went through, than so be it. If there is no mercy for me, there is mercy for nobody.

I'm rid of this physically and mentally sick body, and that's all that matters to me.

Where my consciousness goes? Who knows. Nobody knows until the moment.

I have a strange feeling all this is just a dream, and when we die we go into a new dream, or we wake up somewhere. I've had dreams that were so intensely real, that I think that is possible.

 

[TBONTB]

I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have fear of "what comes after". I'm more concerned about what comes during.

 

[LastNite]

You didnt worry about that before hatching the egg and being born why should you after death.

 

[ReturnToVega]

It's my belief that consciousness continues after death. And life after death is an evolution of sorts. We break free from our bodies and become capable of understanding the universe through a completely different lens. As Carl Sagan put it, "we are a way for the universe to know itself".

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

My personal belief is that there's nothing after death, no consciousness. To me, you don't remember life before you were born, so why would there be anything after? Honestly, when I'm not in a suicidal mindset, I only feel anxious over how I will die.

 

[Off_Switch]

Religion is such a scam to me. I have a theory that it was created to help prevent ancient slaves and indentured servants from killing themselves and humanity just kept going with it.

We have no recollection of any existence before we were born and won't have any after we die. The science that rely on so much in our daily lives can't be ignored when it comes to this.

 

[darksouls]

I am afraid that my consciousness exists forever and that everything will be even worse for me if I kill myself, that is the reason I am stuck here and cannot end my suffering

 

[Cristian]

The fear is still in there, questions plaguing me as if: "What if I go to hell?"

I feel that. I'd say I no longer *believe* I'll go to hell if I CTB, but the idea still haunts me.

 

[never.more]

i grew up religious (and kinda still am tbh) so i've been worried about this too. still, i'd like to think that whatever come's after death is something peaceful/happier. it's horrible to think that people can be through so much and go to somewhere worse-- it wouldn't make any sense.

everyone dies at some point tho, so i guess we'll all find out one day?

 

[liquid jen]

Same, I grew up catholic so the fear of hell definitely looms even if I don't really buy into it. And as for your worries, you'll have to die eventually. Whatever happens after will always happen after, no matter what.

 

[PI3.14]

I also grew up religious but now I'm an atheist.

My personal belief is that consciousness is an emergent property, it's gone when we're dead.

However, whether "you" will experience life again as if it was your first time, is another question. It really depends of the reality of the world and matter and how it behaves. We unfortunately don't have all the answers yet.

Like suppose the universe go into a heat death and matter as we know it emerges again due to some unknown mechanism, and by chance, humans emerge on a new planet, and you, the physical you, come into being again, will you be the same current you? Will your current consciousness be part of that version of you?

I don't know what could help with your fear, since fearing the unknown is kinda normal. However, perhaps you can read into the theory of knowledge and jump into different religions' arguments and debates.

 

[User111885]

I have a working plan in mind, but what's holding me back is WHAT happens to my consciousness. Where do I go? Being influenced by religion growing up, I was afraid I'd go to hell and be burning miserably forever. Now I believe in reincarnation, as if I'd come back a new body. The fear is still in there, questions plaguing me as if: "What if I go to hell?" "What if there's nothing?" "What if I never come back?". These fears hold me back strongly for the fear of the unknown. What do you guys think?

I worry about it, but also think most likely it's somewhat random, life, and after death it's just nothing.


I really just want to sleep forever sometimes. I also realize I could be wrong.

It's hard for me to believe an all-knowing entity, capable of perceiving the future, would envision how painful and awful my life would be and set that ball in motion, i don't see how once fate occurs somehow people can choose differently, and so the idea that someone would create me just to send me to hell seems counterintuitive. Either that all-knowing entity would be a saddist or nothing like that will happen.

I think it's probably that life is all there is, and death ends life, life being the conscious perception and integration of different brain functions and perceptions. I wish I were a happier person, but I'm just not.

 

[Michelstaedter]

My only fear is not what comes after death, but if I try to die and survive... That will be my greatest fear.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

I sometimes do worry whether there may be such a thing as "you quit too early, so your next life won't be full of glory either". Like I need to exhaust my chances with this one, or do some kind of preparation, before 'rerolling' if I want to realize my destiny next time. But this is just guessing what the rules are without any evidence, so there is little point to believe the choice of quitting (or its timing) influences the odds one way or the other. Being stuck after a failed attempt, or even incarcerated (for reason unrelated to CTB attempt but rather because the government went nuts with its ideology, and I am a vulnerable minority), is a much more real horror.

So in the end what may happen after death is not something I am afraid of compared to what can happen if I stay alive for long, even if I do not attempt to CTB.

 

[ManOfTheYear]

I have a fear that comes and goes, but the fear is driven around the total non-existence. I will never see my body again, never feel that I am again, never exist again. I won't be able to sense my essence anymore when my eyes are closed. And the pitch-black nothingness is guaranteed, but thats the fear; which stims from a pov that's existing in that pitch-black nothingness. But I will not, as I will not be anymore. It will not be as my essence will no longer be. And that's peaceful.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I only fear suffering for way longer in this dreadful, torturous existence just to die in agony from old age, existence to me is an abomination and I find it terrifying how a human can suffer for decades longer with no limit as to how much they can be tortured in this existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake, all I want is to be gone, I believe death to be nothing more than an eternal dreamless sleep where all is gone and forgotten and there is no more suffering which is all I hope for, all I see as desirable is the peace of non-existence.

 

[EtherealCicada]

I don't think anything happens to the self afterwards. But here's a small excerpt from my (unfinished, subject to change) suicide note draft, if anyone is interested I guess:

"I don't believe in any afterlife. Ideally I nix and my consciousness dissipates to nothing... But if there is one, and I manage to prove deserving, I hope I just get to sit in the ethereal flora with [late childhood cat's name] in my lap for all eternity."

 

[Dark Mood]

No. I'm just scared what happens if I survive

 

[Unrequitedlife]

I feel continually trapped between my gut feeling that I'm not supposed to be here, and my fear of taking that step to satisfy the urge inside. I have my beliefs pertaining to what comes next, but they seem to do little to dampen the fear.

 

[Ladyybugged]

i wonder if our consciousness just goes into "spectator mode" after death, and we're allowed to watch over the people we love.
seems pretty unrealistic i know, but so does the concept of heaven, hell & "the afterlife". regardless, being able to watch over the ones i love after i've passed is indeed a pleasant thought <3

 

[Jisatsu]

You didn't worry about such things when you are born you will not in your final moments.

 

[eternalpace]

Regarding going to hell, there seems to be quite a bit of opinion that God forgives all sins... including the equivalent of self-murdering oneself. I simply can't believe that an all-loving God would send us to hell after knowing the kind of lives we experienced that drove us to prematurely self-terminate. I hope that I'm correct.

 

[Indy-gogo]

I like these answers, this question runs through my mind, probably, every day while I wait. I feel like it will be an endless nothing but the possibility of more is what gets me excited and motivated while I'm alive. If all I have left are my memories and experiences, because my personality is too messed up to even think have company in the afterlife, I might as well make as many as I can, good or bad, mostly bad so I can reminisce. If I reincarnate into the right body next time, I'll have hopefully learned something useful in this life. Growing up religious, I used to believe I would burn if I was myself, but I think I'd at least be in good company so I'm not too worried about that anymore. My biggest fear is the idea that our consciousness is quantum, incapable of existing in the reality in which we were successful in CTBing since your conscious can't experience not existing, kind of like that movie Mr. Nobody.

 

[Cauliflour]

idk i guess i'll find out when i reach that stage

If the whole "bad people go to hell" thing is somehow true then I'm gonna go looking for the other masochistic freaks and start a harem that's so fucked up even Satan himself has to intervene to get me to stop.

If it's actually the "hell is personalised" theory then fuuuuckkk me...

I know I shouldn't really believe in an afterlife cause I was raised atheist and still consider myself atheist but I feel like there's definitely some sort of higher entity out there, or group of entities, and knowing the wild shit we come up with in stories, they would definitely make up a life 2.0 for us just to be assholes. Or hell, maybe this is the life 2.0 and I've gone and fucked it right up, who knows?

 

[deinocheirus]

i'd like to think that after we die we return to the same state we were in before birth, before even being conceived. the idea of an everlasting 'non-existing' state really soothes me.

if there is an afterlife and if its anything like how hell is described then that has to be one of the greatest injustices of all time. no one deserves eternal torment
let's just hope that the afterlife isn't anything like SCP-2718 lol

 

[setspiritfree]

Obviously I don't know any more than you guys, but I have always believed there was a God. If not, what is the point? I like to think there is something. Since there is creation dosent that scream creator. That is the problem with Darwinism for me? Science says you can't create something out of nothing. I think only God can do that. And, even if you say there was the great void that suddenly exploded, well then, how did the great void get there? I say this as I am pissed off at God and told Him how much I hated Him last night.
However, if there is a God, I hope He is mercifully to us all.

 

[Cristian]

Obviously I don't know any more than you guys, but I have always believed there was a God. If not, what is the point?

...

I say this as I am pissed off at God

IDK if this helps, but I'm reminded of something I watched yesterday: "I'm angry at God."

 

[madameviolette]

I'm afraid I'll be stuck in another realm. Like waking up from a dream. Just like when you live another life when dreaming at night but then wake up to another life. As if consciousness is a dream inside a dream inside another dream.

But then as others say why would there be an afterlife if we can't even remember before we were born. Or maybe we do live an afterlife but then our memory gets erased because that would be too traumatic for a human mind ?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Personally, I'm more concerned with the dying part of death, rather than what comes after. We know for sure that stage has the potential to go badly. But still- it's still some concern what comes after. Maybe slightly less now that I feel at least more confident it could well be nothing.

I suppose regardless though- that's there waiting for us- however we die. So- maybe the more pressing question is whether we receive extra punishment for suicide. I suppose though, I feel like I've pissed off God regardless- doubting they even exist, hating them. I pretty much think I'm screwed either way! If there is a God.

I've always hated the idea of reincarnation. But then, it's also never made any sense to me on any level. If it's all to learn and progress- what the hell for? Why would a mortal existence even be relevant to a spiritual being? What's the end goal?

Is it to become better? But then, we get punished for past misdemeanors (without actually remembering them!) so, it also seems like a stupid way to teach. Imagine- on your first day of school- you are told you won't be allowed out at playtime. You will be serving detention at the end of class and you'll get whipped with a cane until your hands can't grip. Why? Because you sinned in a past life! Would that make that child eager to learn? Or, would they more likely becone rebellious at the unfairness of it all? If we are in fact paying the price for prior sins- aren't we simply being set up for more failures? Is brutal punishment an effective way to teach?

The numbers don't make sense too for reincarnation- the changes in population numbers.

The whole- energy can only be transfered, not created or destroyed argument. That happens in the form of our bodies becoming meat effectively. If we allowed it, we would effectively feed other creatures if we were just left. So- the transference would happen there.

Why are we so stupid when we are born if we've actually lived all those lives prior? Plus- full self awareness as we recognise it now doesn't even seem to be present when we are born. When was your first memory? Maybe aged 2 or 3? Isn't retaining memory a part of being conscious? So- that would suggest to me- that consciousness isn't a fully formed separate entity that floats in and out of our bodies. But rather simply a function of the brain- that likely stops when it dies. Those are my feelings anyway.

And anyhow, if we are born again- chances seem to be we'll remember nothing of this life. We'll effectively be a new person, starting again. So- while I feel sorry for them and, hope things work out better, I don't see them as being anything to do with me now. That tends to be how I reassure myself about reincarnation anyhow.