Afraid of tomorrow

[lilb0wpeep]

I feel like I am always afraid of tomorrow. From the moment I wake up, all day long, until I struggle to fall asleep, and even from what I can remember in dreams. I'm always "afraid" of having to live on in this life. Maybe afraid isn't the right word but it's the closest I can match to my point. No matter what I do or don't have planned for the next day I dread it with my entire soul. On the days I don't have work/other plans I blame my inability to(get myself to) do anything on the fact that I feel anxiously dreadful and am anticipating work. But on the days I do work it's the same. I still wake up feeling this dreadful fear, and find myself fighting to get ready or to do anything I want to. It's like when u don't want to start a big project because you know you don't have enough time to actually start let alone finish it. But in this case the project is some unknown task that is my life(and everything in it). And the time is any and every dependent variable of external factors in addition to the factors I sometimes should but still can not control. After every moment or task that I push through still consumed by this feeling, I am then again stuck on pause. Searching for an answer to pull me out, or for something to drag me along again whilst I'm still stuck in this dread and fear of 'tomorrow'.

 

[PanaxMan]

I feel like I am always afraid of tomorrow. From the moment I wake up, all day long, until I struggle to fall asleep, and even from what I can remember in dreams. I'm always "afraid" of having to live on in this life. Maybe afraid isn't the right word but it's the closest I can match to my point. No matter what I do or don't have planned for the next day I dread it with my entire soul. On the days I don't have work/other plans I blame my inability to(get myself to) do anything on the fact that I feel anxiously dreadful and am anticipating work. But on the days I do work it's the same. I still wake up feeling this dreadful fear, and find myself fighting to get ready or to do anything I want to. It's like when u don't want to start a big project because you know you don't have enough time to actually start let alone finish it. But in this case the project is some unknown task that is my life(and everything in it). And the time is any and every dependent variable of external factors in addition to the factors I sometimes should but still can not control. After every moment or task that I push through still consumed by this feeling, I am then again stuck on pause. Searching for an answer to pull me out, or for something to drag me along again whilst I'm still stuck in this dread and fear of 'tomorrow'.

Interesting as I wake up being afraid for a different reason as I'm homeless. But I wake up with dread that my heart is still pumping. Grateful I can walk around but if my heart stopped while sleeping it would be bliss