alanitis
Enough with the optimism
- Jul 9, 2020
- 18
I am so very tired of pretending I'm okay. Every now and then I have to try to avoid the pain by distracting myself with whatever I can. But seems like that too is now not helping much. The only thing that mattered the most is getting away from me with each passing day and the will to live goes with it too. Slowly and slowly I'm getting nightmares of what if I can't do anything to ease this pain and have to deal with it again? Neither do I have the power to go through it again nor am I able to do anything about it.
My family thinks I'm doing this because of the frustration of Lockdown and I want them to think it like that only. The very few friends think it's just another mood swing and I'll get over it and that's the thing, I don't want to get over it. I am turning into a selfish person by thinking just how much I am suffering but I can't afford to be people solving my problems because I'm so tired of it.
I just want to sleep. And just sleep.
My family thinks I'm doing this because of the frustration of Lockdown and I want them to think it like that only. The very few friends think it's just another mood swing and I'll get over it and that's the thing, I don't want to get over it. I am turning into a selfish person by thinking just how much I am suffering but I can't afford to be people solving my problems because I'm so tired of it.
I just want to sleep. And just sleep.