Help Afraid of accidental overdose, I'm not ready

[Wearethedisease]

I often take drug mixes, I used to be an addict then I guess some would say I still am, although I have plenty of pills I just done have them often or when I do I don't really have many, I just take them as and when I feel like it. Today I feel particularly shit. I will say in the past I've taken intentional overdoses of way more than this and not even ended up in hospital, but that may have been because at the time I was on them virtually constantly so my tolerance was high. But after taking a few hundred mg of tramadol, 20mg of morphine sulfate, 5 (apparent, but not confirmed because they are not prescription and not in packaging) 10mg valiums, one legitimate prescripion 10mg valium, 2 40mg prescription beta blocker and 2mg xanax I am feeling very different to how I usually do, a lot more slowed breathing and a lot more tire.d But I guess that is to be expected? This is not an attempt I just sometimes go for it if I've had a bad day and not usually caring about the consequences, but now I have made a definite decision to end my life in the near future, I want it prepared. I have a plan and there isa lot needed doing before I do it. This is not a cry for help in the way you might think, I'm just kind of concerned that I may end up accidentally overdosing when I in no way want it to go down this way. I need everything ready.

Do you think it's worth making myself sick or just makign sure I stay alert and awake and keep an eye on myself? I am 99% sure I'll be okay but I have a real fear of impulsively doing it or dying prematurely to when I'm completely ready. Advice? It's been about half an hour.

 

[Sherri]

That won't kill you hun. I have a high tolerance for drugs benzos and opioids. I used to have a big issue with tramadol, I would take hundreds of it at once. So in my humble opinion you will likely just be high for a few hours. But I wouldn't take anything else just in case. Hugs.

 

[Wearethedisease]

That won't kill you hun. I have a high tolerance for drugs benzos and opioids. I used to have a big issue with tramadol, I would take hundreds of it at once. So in my humble opinion you will likely just be high for a few hours. But I wouldn't take anything else just in case. Hugs.

Thanks, feels like almost a lifetime ago when I was really addicted tp hese things and I just forgot how much you need to take to overdose. Sometimes I could have a mix of 9 different types of pills and a lot of them and be fine, another time I ended up in hospital simply after a small mixture of a few. It's only when you hear those stories of people taking a few illicit drugs to get them high and end up dying even when unintentional. Probably my paranoia setting in though. Now I've made my decision I want to make sure everything is done right and my whole space is clear and just everything in my life is sorted so my transition to death is smoother. Might stay off the pills for a while anyway. Need to be clear headed for this.

Thanks again I'm not even feeling high just very tired, trying extremely hard to type correctly aha. But yes no more for now, and sorry to hear about your previous issue with tramadol. That and valium/diazepam was my biggest issue, id eat it like candy. Hugs returned. :)

 

[MariV]

wow you seem to be an expert. out of the pills ypu mentooned i have morphine sulphate. do you think that can work for ctb? ive taken lots of opioids but never morphine. good luckbon your journey to liberation

 

[Sherri]

Thanks, feels like almost a lifetime ago when I was really addicted tp hese things and I just forgot how much you need to take to overdose. Sometimes I could have a mix of 9 different types of pills and a lot of them and be fine, another time I ended up in hospital simply after a small mixture of a few. It's only when you hear those stories of people taking a few illicit drugs to get them high and end up dying even when unintentional. Probably my paranoia setting in though. Now I've made my decision I want to make sure everything is done right and my whole space is clear and just everything in my life is sorted so my transition to death is smoother. Might stay off the pills for a while anyway. Need to be clear headed for this.

Thanks again I'm not even feeling high just very tired, trying extremely hard to type correctly aha. But yes no more for now, and sorry to hear about your previous issue with tramadol. That and valium/diazepam was my biggest issue, id eat it like candy. Hugs returned. :)

It's ok hun, I've been through the same, mixing pills, and each day I would say I wouldn't do that again, but always ended up doing so. I hope you luckier than me. For me I self Medicate which I know its totally wrong but it became a coping mechanism to bare this horrible thing I call life.

 

[Wearethedisease]

It's ok hun, I've been through the same, mixing pills, and each day I would say I wouldn't do that again, but always ended up doing so. I hope you luckier than me. For me I self Medicate which I know its totally wrong but it became a coping mechanism to bare this horrible thing I call life.

That used to be me too. Everytime I lost a friend, missed a lecture, dissapointed a family member, I'd tell everybody I'd never do it again, but I was only fooling myself. Who knows, maybe the prospect of there being an end means I'll not even need the pills for a while. Once you've decided, it's like a calmness, almost aa high initself without needing that stuff. Thanks