Advice please

[rationaltake]

why you think you know someone just because they have more posts, told more about themselves and were using the forum for more time? it could all be fake. fake information, a lot of posts with lies… you simply can't verify stuff. "make themselves known" like you said, is an illusion. people with thousands of posts could be liars and people with one post could be truthtellers. by using that weird critera about knowing who to trust and who not to trust, you're just practicing self-deceit. it's just an illusion to think that you'll know who is who.

therefore, by restricting access to information, you are only harming people that need that information, they may end up making mistakes in their attempts or choose more inhumane and dangerous methods only to get permanently damaged.

the anti-choice people and authorities do have a lot of power and "ammunition" without anyone giving it to them. waiting for someone to have X number of posts before giving sources on PM is just arbitrary and changes nothing.

anti-choicers and authorities are way ahead of this when it comes to knowing about sources.

even the PPeH gives sources and even points to specific e-mails that anyone can send messages. you think the authorities don't have that e-mail? they're way past that.

please don't restrict information from someone who could get hurt by doing something wrong in some inhumane method only to getting paralyzed, disabled and brain-damaged.
or doing something wrong in a method that is supposed to be reliable, fast and peaceful, but they don't know a lot because people are needlessly restricting information from them.

now when it comes about your affirmation about IP adresses, there is VPN and there is Tor, and there is a guide here on SS.

now about shutting down a site, it's so silly to think that someone can do that. they can't even block SS on a country. and there are many countries that have already quote unquote "blocked" SS and people in that countries are using SS normally via VPN. Instagram just got "blocked" by Russia recently and yet everyone there is still using Instagram. I've talked to many chineses throughout my life and the plataforms we were using were all in theory "banned" in China. also, if a web hoster doesn't want to host your site, you just change the host. the internet probably doesn't work the way you think it does.

You're right. The info is all on here anyway. People can peruse most of the site without becoming a member.

We have threads entitled SN from XX and N from Y.

The PPeH is advertised on Amazon.

We can never tell who anyone is online.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

Because most people are lazy and they aren't going to want to hang around here for months to get what they need.

yea and then maybe some of them end up jumping from a bridge and agonizing for hours in the water instead of drinking SN peacefully at their homes? I don't know. could be a possibility…

 

[rationaltake]

yea and then maybe some of them end up jumping from a bridge and agonizing for hours in the water instead of drinking SN peacefully at their homes? I don't know. could be a possibility…

It is confusing finding your way round the site at first.

And there is a lot to take in.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

yea and then maybe some of them end up jumping from a bridge and agonizing for hours in the water instead of drinking SN peacefully at their homes? I don't know. could be a possibility…

Anything is in the realm of possibility. But, the site is even designed like that. When someone first gets here, there are a whole lot of functions, and even threads, not available to them. I think it was designed with what I said earlier in mind.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

I tried to articulate that needlessly making information more arbitrarily restricted, besides not helping, could potentially just do colateral damage - again, needlessly.

they would simply choose a more violent and risky method if they didn't have a humane one to choose.

 

[rationaltake]

Anything is in the realm of possibility. But, the site is even designed like that. When someone first gets here, there are a whole lot of functions, and even threads, not available to them. I think it was designed with what I said earlier in mind.

On the other hand the first thing I looked at on this site before becoming a member was the suicide resources.

 

[dredd1981]

You're right. The info is all on here anyway. People can peruse most of the site without becoming a member.

We have threads entitled SN from XX and N from Y.

The PPeH is advertised on Amazon.

We can never tell who anyone is online.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but what is ppeh, I haven't come across that before

 

[Ethereal Knight]

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but what is ppeh, I haven't come across that before

the Peaceful Pill eHandbook. the latest edition is from May 2022.

I think the forum only has the April 2022 edition right now (click here). the May 2022 may become available soon for us.

 

[dredd1981]

the Peaceful Pill eHandbook. the latest edition is from May 2022.

I think the forum only has the April 2022 edition right now. the May 2022 may become available soon for us.

Thanks bro I'll check that out

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Thanks bro I'll check that out

check your chats, I sent you some info

 

[dredd1981]

check your chats, I sent you some info

Thanks man

 

[Klo]

My advice as someone who also has degenerative disc disorder and rheumatoid arthritis is to first try to find better treatment for your back pain. When mine is untreated I only think about suicide but I've noticed when I have less pain the thoughts are not overwhelming. Maybe it will give you some time to think about what you want to do. Hope things get better for you.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

My advice as someone who also has degenerative disc disorder and rheumatoid arthritis is to first try to find better treatment for your back pain. When mine is untreated I only think about suicide but I've noticed when I have less pain the thoughts are not overwhelming. Maybe it will give you some time to think about what you want to do. Hope things get better for you.

What is this 'better treatment'?

 

[dredd1981]

What is this 'better treatment'?

I think alternative treatments might work on people who haven't had surgery. I've had four operations, the last one being a spinal fusion to fuse two spinal segments. The thing with fusions is they either work or they don't. Mine worked for a while but now I'm pretty much back to square one. Though it's not even the constant pain that's making me want to ctb. The ptsd I could maybe have dealt with, but my loving wife deciding to stick the knife into me while i was down has just left me absolutely gutted. I spent 8 years with her before we got married then married for 5 years….thought I knew her but apparently I didn't. So if I didn't know someone after all that time do I really want to invest time going through the whole thing with someone else? No. Do I want to die alone? No. Im retired from the cops and get a pension but im now having to get a job so I can get a mortgage. So im in a ton of pain and having to work a shit job so I can afford a mortgage so I'll have somewhere to eat and sleep so that I can go to my shit job. I really don't see anything in my future worth sticking around for…I don't want to just keep living to simply exist, if you get what im saying. I've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of documentaries about near death experiences, reincarnation etc and im fairly sure there's something after this. If I can press the reset button and start again then that's my play….if it turns out that we die and that's it, well I'll never know so it won't be a problem. I haven't set a date or anything….literally the only thing keeping me here is my two dogs, if it weren't for them I'd have ctb weeks ago

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I think alternative treatments might work on people who haven't had surgery. I've had four operations, the last one being a spinal fusion to fuse two spinal segments. The thing with fusions is they either work or they don't. Mine worked for a while but now I'm pretty much back to square one. Though it's not even the constant pain that's making me want to ctb. The ptsd I could maybe have dealt with, but my loving wife deciding to stick the knife into me while i was down has just left me absolutely gutted. I spent 8 years with her before we got married then married for 5 years….thought I knew her but apparently I didn't. So if I didn't know someone after all that time do I really want to invest time going through the whole thing with someone else? No. Do I want to die alone? No. Im retired from the cops and get a pension but im now having to get a job so I can get a mortgage. So im in a ton of pain and having to work a shit job so I can afford a mortgage so I'll have somewhere to eat and sleep so that I can go to my shit job. I really don't see anything in my future worth sticking around for…I don't want to just keep living to simply exist, if you get what im saying. I've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of documentaries about near death experiences, reincarnation etc and im fairly sure there's something after this. If I can press the reset button and start again then that's my play….if it turns out that we die and that's it, well I'll never know so it won't be a problem. I haven't set a date or anything….literally the only thing keeping me here is my two dogs, if it weren't for them I'd have ctb weeks ago

Beautiful dogs. Have you looked into every option to avoid having to get a mortgage and a shit job - these things can be the real nail in the coffin, so to speak. In my town there are council accomodation reserved for 50+, so no druggy shitbags making noise, and if you have provable injuries there's probably loads of financial help to avoid working a shit job in pain. There is PIP and ESA for starters. You may have to appeal decision, but a majority of appeals win. That would be 10K a year, plus help with rent if you have a truly fucked medical condition. If can reduce it to 3 or 4 hours work a day, instead of 8 or 9, with no mortgage, you might feel better about things. Nowt wrong with exaggerating what you can/can't do to play the system a but, use walking aids, say you can barely walk 20 meters, I've managed to blag full ESA by saying I plan to CTB in 2 months because the pain is so severe. It's not necessarily a lie, it's just not set in stone yet.

 

[dredd1981]

Beautiful dogs. Have you looked into every option to avoid having to get a mortgage and a shit job - these things can be the real nail in the coffin, so to speak. In my town there are council accomodation reserved for 50+, so no druggy shitbags making noise, and if you have provable injuries there's probably loads of financial help to avoid working a shit job in pain. There is PIP and ESA for starters. You may have to appeal decision, but a majority of appeals win. That would be 10K a year, plus help with rent if you have a truly fucked medical condition. If can reduce it to 3 or 4 hours work a day, instead of 8 or 9, with no mortgage, you might feel better about things. Nowt wrong with exaggerating what you can/can't do to play the system a but, use walking aids, say you can barely walk 20 meters, I've managed to blag full ESA by saying I plan to CTB in 2 months because the pain is so severe. It's not necessarily a lie, it's just not set in stone yet.

Thanks bro, they're literally my world at the minute!
Yeah I've a friend who had to medically retire with a similar condition to mine, he is a little worse than me and pip told him where to go. If you're already in receipt of some sort of pension then that immediately counts against you. I'm hoping to get a decent amount of £ off the bitch ex wife, she's still working as a cop, if I made a real fuss about her defrauding me then she would likely lose her job so I'm hoping that will be incentive for her to do a deal. But it's not even about the money. You could offer me a million pounds or a wife who would love and support me and I'd choose the latter every time. I just can't believe what an utter c*nt she has been!

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Thanks bro, they're literally my world at the minute!
Yeah I've a friend who had to medically retire with a similar condition to mine, he is a little worse than me and pip told him where to go. If you're already in receipt of some sort of pension then that immediately counts against you. I'm hoping to get a decent amount of £ off the bitch ex wife, she's still working as a cop, if I made a real fuss about her defrauding me then she would likely lose her job so I'm hoping that will be incentive for her to do a deal. But it's not even about the money. You could offer me a million pounds or a wife who would love and support me and I'd choose the latter every time. I just can't believe what an utter c*nt she has been!

Seems like with PIP, or ESA, appeal is the key, as most win second time around - I have a friend with a degenerative eye condition, who is slowly going blind, and will be blind fairly soon, but can manage some work at the moment, and he was refused first time around, but then won on appeal. I understand though, having loving support is important to many. I just want the pain to go and I'll be fine, single as fuck. I can barely deal with my own personality, let alone someone else's in top of that! I never thought I'd say it, but I miss doing minimum wage cleaning jobs 50 hours a week - if I could just get that back, I'd be happy as hell!

 

[dredd1981]

Seems like with PIP, or ESA, appeal is the key, as most win second time around - I have a friend with a degenerative eye condition, who is slowly going blind, and will be blind fairly soon, but can manage some work at the moment, and he was refused first time around, but then won on appeal. I understand though, having loving support is important to many. I just want the pain to go and I'll be fine, single as fuck. I can barely deal with my own personality, let alone someone else's in top of that! I never thought I'd say it, but I miss doing minimum wage cleaning jobs 50 hours a week - if I could just get that back, I'd be happy as hell!

Yeah man, single af is probably the way forward, I'm not going to invest another 15 years of my life to get to know someone only to find out that I didn't know them at all and oops I've wasted my time with another c*nt
I'm pretty lucky, my pension is pretty generous but to get a mortgage I need a job…..started a job a few weeks ago, only working 16 or so hours a week which should pay the bulk of a mortgage should I still be about to apply for one…
What meds does your gp have you on? Amongst other things I'm using butec patches, I can still feel the pain but I don't mind it as much…that'll probably change though as it gets worse. I've sourced some SN though I'm going to try and hold out for some N as is sounds like it's more effective and faster acting compared to SN

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Yeah man, single af is probably the way forward, I'm not going to invest another 15 years of my life to get to know someone only to find out that I didn't know them at all and oops I've wasted my time with another c*nt
I'm pretty lucky, my pension is pretty generous but to get a mortgage I need a job…..started a job a few weeks ago, only working 16 or so hours a week which should pay the bulk of a mortgage should I still be about to apply for one…
What meds does your gp have you on? Amongst other things I'm using butec patches, I can still feel the pain but I don't mind it as much…that'll probably change though as it gets worse. I've sourced some SN though I'm going to try and hold out for some N as is sounds like it's more effective and faster acting compared to SN

If you have no ties, have you considered moving up north? You can buy a house up there for very cheap. Or even Wales. Before the shit hit the fan with the pain, I was saving to buy outright somewhere up there, so I can live my dream-life, working part-time doing little cleaning jobs for 4 hours a day, and making music most of the day in my own home-made studio that is in boxes in my parents house! I was looking at Hull, Blackpool, Stoke-on-Trent, even Wolverhampton is quite cheap despite being in the midlands, where I currently am. You can buy a reasonable property in these kinda places for 60K - 80K - might be shitholes, but owning, and slowly doing it up, and having no rent/mortgage is the most important thing to me. Mortgage is Latin for 'Death Grip', apparently!

My Doc currently has me on 10 mg Oxycodone daily, 20 mg Amitriptyline (which I don't take, and I am accumulating until I have 10 gram for CTB, as per the PPHE), and I take Xanax every night, bought illegally, which I've found helps me sleep and helps with the pain the next day. That's it - no more help than that. Pain clinic was a joke. Seeing a private sports-physio Monday. Hopefully he's not just another charlatan selling false hopes!

 

[dredd1981]

If you have no ties, have you considered moving up north? You can buy a house up there for very cheap. Or even Wales. Before the shit hit the fan with the pain, I was saving to buy outright somewhere up there, so I can live my dream-life, working part-time doing little cleaning jobs for 4 hours a day, and making music most of the day in my own home-made studio that is in boxes in my parents house! I was looking at Hull, Blackpool, Stoke-on-Trent, even Wolverhampton is quite cheap despite being in the midlands, where I currently am. You can buy a reasonable property in these kinda places for 60K - 80K - might be shitholes, but owning, and slowly doing it up, and having no rent/mortgage is the most important thing to me. Mortgage is Latin for 'Death Grip', apparently!

My Doc currently has me on 10 mg Oxycodone daily, 20 mg Amitriptyline (which I don't take, and I am accumulating until I have 10 gram for CTB, as per the PPHE), and I take Xanax every night, bought illegally, which I've found helps me sleep and helps with the pain the next day. That's it - no more help than that. Pain clinic was a joke. Seeing a private sports-physio Monday. Hopefully he's not just another charlatan selling false hopes!

I live in Northern Ireland, property prices here aren't as high as England but anywhere that I could afford is way out in the boonies….have stopped looking as I don't know how much I'll be able to get out of my ex so until I know that there's not much point.
I was on amitriptyline but stopped it as I didn't think it was working…didn't realise you could use it to ctb….I got the worst withdrawal symptoms when I stopped taking it, was horrible. Just googled ctb on amitriptyline, if you can take a few sleeping tablets then the ami it would probably be peaceful enough, I read stories about people having wild seizures which doesn't sound like a pleasant way to spend your last few minutes on the planet. Have you thought about SN or have you ruled that out?

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I live in Northern Ireland, property prices here aren't as high as England but anywhere that I could afford is way out in the boonies….have stopped looking as I don't know how much I'll be able to get out of my ex so until I know that there's not much point.
I was on amitriptyline but stopped it as I didn't think it was working…didn't realise you could use it to ctb….I got the worst withdrawal symptoms when I stopped taking it, was horrible. Just googled ctb on amitriptyline, if you can take a few sleeping tablets then the ami it would probably be peaceful enough, I read stories about people having wild seizures which doesn't sound like a pleasant way to spend your last few minutes on the planet. Have you thought about SN or have you ruled that out?

Yeah, Amitriptyline is useless for pain but...

'Amitriptyline is a particularly useful end of life drug as its cardio-toxic properties are combined with strong sedation. Nevertheless, to ensure that loss of consciousness has occurred before the heart is stopped, it is useful to include a benzodiazepine sleeping drug after taking the amitriptyline and before the alcohol. Once the drink has been consumed, settle back and take the alcohol. The drug cocktail will work quickly, inducing sleep in about 15 minutes. Sleep will then deepen as consciousness is lost and the cardio-toxic properties of the drug bring about death. This period can vary, so it is a good idea to have prepared a situation where there is no likelihood of disturbance for a period of up to 24 hours - Reports of failure using this regime are rare, and so it rates 8/10 for Reliability. However, the time before sleep occurs is longer than with the barbiturates, and this can cause anxiety. This is why good 'benzopotentiation' is strongly recommended. Peacefulness is rated at 7/10. There is nothing about the death that suggests the use of this drug (i.e. the person looks as though they have died of a cardiac arrest, which they have). Note: While Amitriptyline is an effective single-agent end of life drug, its reliability is greatly enhanced when used in combination with other drugs - see the Chapter titled - The Lethal Drug Mixtures'

Amitriptyline Criteria Score
Reliability 8/10
Peacefulness 7/10

SN Criteria Score
Reliability 7/10
Peacefulness 7/10

I have SN too, but this sounds a bit more peaceful to me, I don't know why. I may try SN, and if I puke and fail, then try Amitriptyline, and if that fails, I'll full-hang with benzos and opiates. Sometimes I feel like I should just take everything all in one go and full-hang immediately after, just to make sure I definitely die of at least one!

 

[dredd1981]

Yeah, Amitriptyline is useless for pain but...

'Amitriptyline is a particularly useful end of life drug as its cardio-toxic properties are combined with strong sedation. Nevertheless, to ensure that loss of consciousness has occurred before the heart is stopped, it is useful to include a benzodiazepine sleeping drug after taking the amitriptyline and before the alcohol. Once the drink has been consumed, settle back and take the alcohol. The drug cocktail will work quickly, inducing sleep in about 15 minutes. Sleep will then deepen as consciousness is lost and the cardio-toxic properties of the drug bring about death. This period can vary, so it is a good idea to have prepared a situation where there is no likelihood of disturbance for a period of up to 24 hours - Reports of failure using this regime are rare, and so it rates 8/10 for Reliability. However, the time before sleep occurs is longer than with the barbiturates, and this can cause anxiety. This is why good 'benzopotentiation' is strongly recommended. Peacefulness is rated at 7/10. There is nothing about the death that suggests the use of this drug (i.e. the person looks as though they have died of a cardiac arrest, which they have). Note: While Amitriptyline is an effective single-agent end of life drug, its reliability is greatly enhanced when used in combination with other drugs - see the Chapter titled - The Lethal Drug Mixtures'

Amitriptyline Criteria Score
Reliability 8/10
Peacefulness 7/10

SN Criteria Score
Reliability 7/10
Peacefulness 7/10

I have SN too, but this sounds a bit more peaceful to me, I don't know why. I may try SN, and if I puke and fail, then try Amitriptyline, and if that fails, I'll full-hang with benzos and opiates. Sometimes I feel like I should just take everything all in one go and full-hang immediately after, just to make sure I definitely die of at least one!

Damn, maybe I should request ami from my gp and build up a stockpile since it's slightly more reliable that SN. If anyone had told me 6 months ago that I'd be seriously looking into ctb I'd have said they were insane, it's funny how life can suddenly take a left turn and leave you fucked.
I'm hopefully going to order SN in a week or two along with anti sickness meds, I'll stick on a couple of 10ug butec patches and maybe take 30mg of muscle relaxants….two anti sickness tablets then half an hour later the SN…..then have a nice glass of cognac and wait for the darkness to take me

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Damn, maybe I should request ami from my gp and build up a stockpile since it's slightly more reliable that SN. If anyone had told me 6 months ago that I'd be seriously looking into ctb I'd have said they were insane, it's funny how life can suddenly take a left turn and leave you fucked.
I'm hopefully going to order SN in a week or two along with anti sickness meds, I'll stick on a couple of 10ug butec patches and maybe take 30mg of muscle relaxants….two anti sickness tablets then half an hour later the SN…..then have a nice glass of cognac and wait for the darkness to take me

I've got to wait quite a while to get my 10 grams of Amatrip though, it's annoying as hell. Funny thing is, just before all this happened, I was working on a Psych-ward, around severely suicidal people, all walking around with wounds to their arms that went all the way to the bone, with no shoelaces on - and I was thinking, 'Imagine being as fucked-up as these lot' - 2 years later, I'm stockpiling Amatrip, buying SN, lying to Doctors and online prescribers to get all sorts of CTB shit, considering jumping off cliffs and churches - Life is fucked up!

 

[dredd1981]

I've got to wait quite a while to get my 10 grams of Amatrip though, it's annoying as hell. Funny thing is, just before all this happened, I was working on a Psych-ward, around severely suicidal people, all walking around with wounds to their arms that went all the way to the bone, with no shoelaces on - and I was thinking, 'Imagine being as fucked-up as these lot' - 2 years later, I'm stockpiling Amatrip, buying SN, lying to Doctors and online prescribers to get all sorts of CTB shit, considering jumping off cliffs and churches - Life is fucked up!

I hear ya man. I was 40 last year and I remember I was out walking my dogs and thinking how good things were going, I was the only person in my family who was still married, I had a roof over my head, financially stable and had a wife who I thought loved me…….then less than a year later I'm kicked out of the house, separated, left alone to deal with ptsd and facing a future of hardship and misery. Life most certainly is fucked up…….before I found out a about SN I'd considered using disposable barbecues to ctb with carbon monoxide…..went out in my car last weekend to find somewhere but couldn't find anywhere discrete to do it….probably for the best as I'd probably have set my car on fire and died in agony! When I went mental in December I went outside and out into my garden and put two chairs together and lay down hoping to die from hypothermia but it obviously wasn't cold enough as I woke up a few hours later when the rain came on……I'd never had any mental issues before, I mean I'd seen all sorts of fucked up shit when I was in the police but I was always able to disconnect and just get on with it. I never imagined I'd go mental…and in such a short space of time. It's funny how things work out…..I used to enjoy hearing stories about cops I knew who had retired and gone crazy and thought that would never happen to me….and here I am, completely radio rental and fighting to keep my shit together every day. Not sure I'd go the jumping route, you might get unlucky and break a leg or become quadraspazed then you would be in a position where you'd *really* want to ctb but wouldn't be able to. For what it's worth I'm sorry shit has gone so wrong for you, fuck, I'm sorry it's gone so wrong for me….I've been doing a lot of research into near death experiences/reincarnation etc and I'm fairly sure there's something after this….I just hope the penalty for suicide isn't too steep, hopefully if I get another chance I can do things a bit better next time

 

[Lifewpain]

Having a physical injury and being fucking suicidal is the worst cocktail combination in thos fucking world. My uncle served in the military and lost a leg. He was honourably discharged and a week later he had shot himself. Tbh I'd actually prefer a gun but there is the whole thing of it missing and your life being more of a bitch. I've been looking up some methods and I'm probably gonna overdose on pills. I've read something about laughing gas and how it's particularly painless.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

quadraspazed

...on a Life Glug? Now I suspect you like Brass Eye!

Not sure I'd go the jumping route

I have a 130 ft church near me with easy access to the top, and onto concrete, but you never know! I'd have to do Beachy Head 500ft, or my Paramotor idea I have promoted on here that no one liked; buy a paramotor for 2K, get a few days lessons for 1K, then launch it at night, go up to 10,000ft, and leap out!

I hear ya man. I was 40 last year and I remember I was out walking my dogs and thinking how good things were going, I was the only person in my family who was still married, I had a roof over my head, financially stable and had a wife who I thought loved me…….then less than a year later I'm kicked out of the house, separated, left alone to deal with ptsd and facing a future of hardship and misery. Life most certainly is fucked up

For some reason, we all think our lives won't be the tragedies; that shit will happen to someone else! If I could give a teenager any advice, it would be: ALWAYS ASSUME your life is heading for tragedy and act now with urgency! Complacency kills!!!

Having a physical injury and being fucking suicidal is the worst cocktail combination in thos fucking world. My uncle served in the military and lost a leg. He was honourably discharged and a week later he had shot himself. Tbh I'd actually prefer a gun but there is the whole thing of it missing and your life being more of a bitch. I've been looking up some methods and I'm probably gonna overdose on pills. I've read something about laughing gas and how it's particularly painless.

To die pissing yourself laughing sounds good!

 

[dredd1981]

...on a Life Glug? Now I suspect you like Brass Eye!

I have a 130 ft church near me with easy access to the top, and onto concrete, but you never know! I'd have to do Beachy Head 500ft, or my Paramotor idea I have promoted on here that no one liked; buy a paramotor for 2K, get a few days lessons for 1K, then launch it at night, go up to 10,000ft, and leap out!

For some reason, we all think our lives won't be the tragedies; that shit will happen to someone else! If I could give a teenager any advice, it would be: ALWAYS ASSUME your life is heading for tragedy and act now with urgency! Complacency kills!!!

To die pissing yourself laughing sounds good!

For some reason I can't think of the word British isles without the word paedoph in front of them! I LOVE brass eye, good memory, you're the first person to get the reference!
Ha, if I were to go back to talk to teenage me he'd probably knock my fuck in for giving up….unfortunately life has a habit of wearing you down. Heck I consider myself lucky to have gotten 49 reasonably ok years….I know ppl who died when they were at school, didn't get to experience "life"…..actually now I'm thinking they were the lucky ones

 

[Pain In The Ass]

For some reason I can't think of the word British isles without the word paedoph in front of them! I LOVE brass eye, good memory, you're the first person to get the reference!
Ha, if I were to go back to talk to teenage me he'd probably knock my fuck in for giving up….unfortunately life has a habit of wearing you down. Heck I consider myself lucky to have gotten 49 reasonably ok years….I know ppl who died when they were at school, didn't get to experience "life"…..actually now I'm thinking they were the lucky ones

I know someone who's 53 and has cancerous tumours growing out of his face and neck, and has decided to stop chemotherapy and die ASAP. I feel lucky compared to him! I don't know if this was a deleted scene, but I don't remember it from the TV version. It's like a 999 with Michael Buerk spoof! The bit where the pilot's watch with a 'dangerous design' makes him pass out is just so brilliant...

 

[dredd1981]

I know someone who's 53 and has cancerous tumours growing out of his face and neck, and has decided to stop chemotherapy and die ASAP. I feel lucky compared to him! I don't know if this was a deleted scene, but I don't remember it from the TV version. It's like a 999 with Michael Buerk spoof! The bit where the pilot's watch with a 'dangerous design' makes him pass out is just so brilliant...

After my failed attempt I began to wish I'd get cancer, still wish I'd get it, would save me the trouble. I used to work with a guy who was in his early 40's and died a couple of years ago from throat cancer. Was diagnosed at the start of February and by the end of the month he was dead. Used to worry something like that would happen to me but now I'd see it as a blessing. It's funny how fucked up your mind gets

 

[freedompass]

Oh right. Thought you were from the states. Just read it again and your original post says you already had a gun that was taken away from you.
Do you have your gun license. If you do you can buy direct from famers and enthusiasts online at Guntrader.

Yeah I was trying to 'place' you OP since you referred to yourself as an ex 'cop' but then mentioned Boxing Night which so far as I'm aware is a British thing. Sorry, this comment is irrelevant but I'm slightly nerdy about Brit v American English, culture and so forth. Many Americans have a habit of assuming everyone is American haha. They therefore won't tend to notice things like 'boxing night' never having heard of them. The word 'cop' or 'copper' is sometimes used here but less universally than in the States.

I'll go away now.

I know someone who's 53 and has cancerous tumours growing out of his face and neck, and has decided to stop chemotherapy and die ASAP. I feel lucky compared to him! I don't know if this was a deleted scene, but I don't remember it from the TV version. It's like a 999 with Michael Buerk spoof! The bit where the pilot's watch with a 'dangerous design' makes him pass out is just so brilliant...

Totally loved this too.