plan c
My last resort.
- Nov 8, 2022
- 143
Done the last of my part on some online team-project today. Just committed on the repository. I think the team would be fine without me from now on.
Played perhaps my last basketball game with my friends. Didn't do my best due to serious sleep-deprivation of mine yet I shouldn't have cared.
Settled my debts with the barkeep, and now it's good if he forgets me.
Told my family that I'm going on a study-trip somewhere. Not returning anytime this year. Hope they won't notice anything abnormal.
My best friend... well she knows me really well. Never had siblings but she's like my sister. It must breaks her heart to know my untimely demise. All I could do is apologize. So, so sorry in advance.
Ordered SN via my family member's contact. They'll absolutely not doubt it since I used to buy chemicals like this for some labs. I've once bought mercuric nitrate to make crystals and CaC2 to make acetylene which were actually really dangerous, if not more lethal than SN. So SN would be a no-prob.
Finally, I'm coming to a point where I've made up my mind to CTB. It was not as hard as expected.
People consigned life with too much things it could mean. Possibilities, hope, success and so on. Nothing to me seemed to really be the case. None of those appealed to me; contrarily it gave me all the grief and hopelessness. Life is after all about the things I CAN'T do, right?
I need to do it in the evening and, already fasting now. Looked at stan guide but I thought I figured out most of that myself. Maybe bc of some pre-knowledge on this stuff.
If my calculation is right, 23g of NaNO2 dissolved in 60g of water should fit the bill. I'll definitely not survive this time.
Played perhaps my last basketball game with my friends. Didn't do my best due to serious sleep-deprivation of mine yet I shouldn't have cared.
Settled my debts with the barkeep, and now it's good if he forgets me.
Told my family that I'm going on a study-trip somewhere. Not returning anytime this year. Hope they won't notice anything abnormal.
My best friend... well she knows me really well. Never had siblings but she's like my sister. It must breaks her heart to know my untimely demise. All I could do is apologize. So, so sorry in advance.
Ordered SN via my family member's contact. They'll absolutely not doubt it since I used to buy chemicals like this for some labs. I've once bought mercuric nitrate to make crystals and CaC2 to make acetylene which were actually really dangerous, if not more lethal than SN. So SN would be a no-prob.
Finally, I'm coming to a point where I've made up my mind to CTB. It was not as hard as expected.
People consigned life with too much things it could mean. Possibilities, hope, success and so on. Nothing to me seemed to really be the case. None of those appealed to me; contrarily it gave me all the grief and hopelessness. Life is after all about the things I CAN'T do, right?
I need to do it in the evening and, already fasting now. Looked at stan guide but I thought I figured out most of that myself. Maybe bc of some pre-knowledge on this stuff.
If my calculation is right, 23g of NaNO2 dissolved in 60g of water should fit the bill. I'll definitely not survive this time.
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