iitssam
Zest jester
- Mar 27, 2026
- 3
I'm a drug addict. I don't want to talk too long and bore anyone, but it started almost a year ago, became heavily addicted to Benadryl. If you don't know, if you use every day, your tolerance builds really quickly. My tolerance built to using 1.4g every single night. I was using it every night.
My body eventually stopped handling it well and I had a seizure. I didn't care about the harm it was doing and I continued using anyways. I eventually stopped even counting the pills because it was too annoying to count them all out.
I was frustrated one night because of how annoying the tolerance building was, and just took a shit ton more than I normally do. Woke up in the hospital, I was told that I was having seizures and was completely unresponsive, so my parents called an ambulance.
It wasn't an attempt but I wish it had killed me. Now my parents are searching my room heavy, they already took my weed and shrooms so I have to be extra careful. I go back to using Benadryl, and just recently the same exact thing happened and I woke up in the hospital.
They forced me to go back to my psychiatrist but I don't give a fuck about therapy or psychiatry. I just want to use drugs and let it kill me, I hate being alive, I have my entire life, and drugs are the only thing that bring me any sort of joy anymore other than food, but then I just workout because I'm afraid of becoming even more fat than I already am.
My psychiatrist was like, "you could have died from the overdose, this is serious stuff." I would have died happy, I hate being alive, and now I'm back on medication, I'm not even allowed to have MELATONIN in my room. I'm not allowed any sort of pill unsupervised, my parents take it and hide them in their room.
I haven't bought more Benadryl because I'm insanely paranoid about being caught and sent to a psych ward. I'm so fucking miserable, man, I just want this to be over. I literally pray every night for God to just end it already.
My body eventually stopped handling it well and I had a seizure. I didn't care about the harm it was doing and I continued using anyways. I eventually stopped even counting the pills because it was too annoying to count them all out.
I was frustrated one night because of how annoying the tolerance building was, and just took a shit ton more than I normally do. Woke up in the hospital, I was told that I was having seizures and was completely unresponsive, so my parents called an ambulance.
It wasn't an attempt but I wish it had killed me. Now my parents are searching my room heavy, they already took my weed and shrooms so I have to be extra careful. I go back to using Benadryl, and just recently the same exact thing happened and I woke up in the hospital.
They forced me to go back to my psychiatrist but I don't give a fuck about therapy or psychiatry. I just want to use drugs and let it kill me, I hate being alive, I have my entire life, and drugs are the only thing that bring me any sort of joy anymore other than food, but then I just workout because I'm afraid of becoming even more fat than I already am.
My psychiatrist was like, "you could have died from the overdose, this is serious stuff." I would have died happy, I hate being alive, and now I'm back on medication, I'm not even allowed to have MELATONIN in my room. I'm not allowed any sort of pill unsupervised, my parents take it and hide them in their room.
I haven't bought more Benadryl because I'm insanely paranoid about being caught and sent to a psych ward. I'm so fucking miserable, man, I just want this to be over. I literally pray every night for God to just end it already.
