Actual Goodbye

[weallhaveourghosts]

In 2 hours and some minutes (10 PM CDT time) I will be taking SN. I wanted to say thank you to everyone on this website because without all the input and resources I would've either gone in a way that traumatized others, didn't actually allow me to CTB but made life worse, or ended with me back in a psych ward. This community is incredible and I hope the website stays around for others.

It's kind of weird scheduling your own death but it is nice knowing when it'll happen.

I hope I get to see my dad when I transition.

 

[catfriend]

godspeed! hope you find peace, friend. :)

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

godspeed! hope you find peace, friend. :)

Thank you :)

 

[Imeavie]

I hope your final moments are peaceful, and free of suffering.

 

[AdultVirgin]

my dad died early aswell

I wonder if i will see him again myself

if you see him yourself, say hi for me

 

[EternalShore]

See ya~ I wish you the best and will pray for you~ :) May you see your dad in Heaven~ :)

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Good luck hun

 

[maniac116]

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find peace from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[Roadrunner]

Wishing you the best.

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

I failed :( I could barely get it down. I managed a couple sips and then spent the night vomiting. I'm gonna give myself today to feel better and then try again on Wednesday.

 

[NoPainNoGain]

I failed :( I could barely get it down. I managed a couple sips and then spent the night vomiting. I'm gonna give myself today to feel better and then try again on Wednesday.

Please dont feel bad about this. Sending you love.

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Please dont feel bad about this. Sending you love.

Thank you, I just wish I could've managed to get it down. I'm revising my plan today to hopefully make it less hard. I don't know how people do it. The second the liquid was in my mouth all I wanted to do was spit it out.

 

[NoPainNoGain]

Thank you, I just wish I could've managed to get it down. I'm revising my plan today to hopefully make it less hard. I don't know how people do it. The second the liquid was in my mouth all I wanted to do was spit it out.

Was it pure disgust in taste, which made you spit it? Or was it SI hitting you fast?

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Was it pure disgust in taste, which made you spit it? Or was it SI hitting you fast?

The taste!!

 

[NoPainNoGain]

The taste!!

Damn, that sucks. That what I thought. I dont know other people fights it. Of course there is good reward for eating it and there is nothing free and easy given in this world

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Damn, that sucks. That what I thought. I dont know other people fights it. Of course there is good reward for eating it and there is nothing free and easy given in this world

Yeah it does suck. I think others have a bit more on hand than I do. I mostly just had my antiemetic.

 

[bankai]

I was worried about this, I'm not going to lie.
Ever since i read my arch nemesis @neenie post on SN it's given me trauma.

And now you OP.i enjoy delicious food,I'm certain the taste will be too much to bear

I'll be projectile vomiting like linda blair in the exorcist.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I failed :( I could barely get it down. I managed a couple sips and then spent the night vomiting. I'm gonna give myself today to feel better and then try again on Wednesday.

please be easy on yourself. please don't beat yourself up. SI can be a beast. we're here for you friend

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

I was worried about this, I'm not going to lie.
Ever since i read my arch nemesis @neenie post on SN it's given me trauma.

And now you OP.i enjoy delicious food,I'm certain the taste will be too much to bear

I'll be projectile vomiting like linda blair in the exorcist.

I also enjoy delicious food lol

Yes, the taste was just too much but obviously others find a way to manage to get it down.

please be easy on yourself. please don't beat yourself up. SI can be a beast. we're here for you friend

Thanks, I don't think it was SI more so the taste was hard to get past :( I don't know how people manage to get past that.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I also enjoy delicious food lol

Yes, the taste was just too much but obviously others find a way to manage to get it down.

Thanks, I don't think it was SI more so the taste was hard to get past :( I don't know how people manage to get past that.

I hear that. i'm sure you're not alone. many have used mouthwash, a mint, small candy etc. right after. take your time if you can. let your body recover. are you keeping fluids down now?

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

I hear that. i'm sure you're not alone. many have used mouthwash, a mint, small candy etc. right after. take your time if you can. let your body recover. are you keeping fluids down now?

I had a lollipop that I kept licking but it didn't help with the ability to swallow the whole cup even with holding my nose. Yeah I am. I had a Gatorade to help replenish my electrolytes.

 

[divinemistress36]

How are you feeling now?

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

How are you feeling now?

Mostly okay. Managed to have some soup and saltine crackers along with the gatorade. I can stay upright without any problem, the purple lips are gone, my hearing is good again, no headache anymore, and I haven't thrown up. Stomach hurts a bit but that's all really.

 

[catfriend]

Mostly okay. Managed to have some soup and saltine crackers along with the gatorade. I can stay upright without any problem, the purple lips are gone, my hearing is good again, no headache anymore, and I haven't thrown up. Stomach hurts a bit but that's all really.

glad to hear you're recovering. :)

i do think ctb is one of the hardest things a human can do (if not the hardest). it's perfectly normal to back out!

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

Was it DMC? Did you take antiemetics? Hugs, and get well soon, darling

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

Was it DMC? Did you take antiemetics? Hugs, and get well soon, darling

Not DMC. and yeah I did. Thanks

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

the purple lips are gone

omg your lips actually turned purple, even tho you almost swallowed nothing?
is that how powerful it is????

i saw you saiid you also took antiemetics, but did you take anything else than that? :)

i hope you are feeling better

 

[weallhaveourghosts]

omg your lips actually turned purple, even tho you almost swallowed nothing?
is that how powerful it is????

i saw you saiid you also took antiemetics, but did you take anything else than that? :)

i hope you are feeling better

Yup had all the affects even though I only got a small amount down

Just the antiemetics, I've seen the back and forth on the antacid but I don't think that would make a difference

Thank you

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

Yup had all the affects even though I only got a small amount down

Just the antiemetics, I've seen the back and forth on the antacid but I don't think that would make a difference

Thank you

may i ask how many grams do you estimate that you got down?
and did you just drink it straight from the glass or whatever container it was in,
or did you use some sort of special technique in drinking it?