As the day comes more and more near you would think I would be loosing my mind right? For some reason. I can't help but act normal...even more normal than usual if that makes sense? I'm still going to work, I'm still ordering shit off amazon, still tryina get laid, I'm still taking vitamins and neutropics like if it even matters...I talk to my family, friends, and co-workers like everything is fine and surprisingly I don't have to try hard...I'm not sure if it's because knowing what I'm about to do brings peace knowing all this is almost over. Idk if it's because I've gotten over the fact that I'm really going to do this or w.e it may be...I guess I'll be one of those cases where they say "he didn't show any signs that he was going to do this"...before maybee like 5 or 6 months ago I honestly COULD NOT FATHOM how some one could take his/her own life. I could not wrap my mind around it. How some one could take some one else's is easy af to understand just because of how the world works , but to take your own? I could not bring my self to undestand.....and now I'm here...and honestly I think I'm fine with it...I wake up up early , drink my cofee, check this site, and go to work...like nothing....once the SN gets here I'm not sure exacly when I'll take it for lack of not having the perfect spot yet...I don't want any1 to find me until it's done if they find me at all. Before the day of the deed I think I want to get drunk, eat some good food, and talk to no one...anyways just some thoughts
The same here, except for my psy who knows. Anyway everybody see nothing if not in their mind or interest so tant pis pour eux.
And during the time i m waiting to ctb, why would i torture myself more than not being me ? So i take some pleasure, such as reading and thinking. I don t want to be a martyr.
And during the time i m waiting to ctb, why would i torture myself more than not being me ? So i take some pleasure, such as reading and thinking. I don t want to be a martyr.
TimetoGo!
Wizard
- Aug 30, 2022
- 628
Im exactly the same brother……we carry on as normal because that IS normal and what we've always done. Suppose we can't just sit in a dark room all day and ignore everyone, which would draw attention to ourselves anyway!!
Where you from?
Huntfish34
Enlightened
- Mar 13, 2020
- 1,622
Yepp. Basically the same for me, kinda awkward sometimes but I haven't raised any concern as far as I know. Can be odd in different situations, although I soldier through it with a smile.
Thanks for sharing this, thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen. ♥
Thanks for sharing this, thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen. ♥
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,878
It must be a relief having the option of SN, I wish you the best with your plans and I think it's certainly for the best acting in such a way that could never make other people suspicious, as sadly we exist in a world where other people try to interfere in plans to die.
Originally from the west coast bur up in Canada now...and as far as the alone kna dark room thing I'm kinda an introvert so I only socialize when need be so being alone alot also is kinda norma
