amoonschizo
ratlike
- Mar 25, 2023
- 5
I feel like the average person could never understand the people who struggle and decide to CTB. Like no matter what, i feel like i'll always have the consciousness of the fact that there is really no meaning for me to continue to put up with these things i never asked for, all the expectations and standards it seems that i am "required" to meet; and know that, whenever I find myself having a good moment i kind of feel... embarrassed?? everything and everyone is truly so pointless and cruel and I know deep down there is no actual true reason to stay. Why would I stick around to watch everything fully become impermanent. Maybe I just don't care enough but why should it matter that my death would make others sad? I'll be dead, there is pure oblivion afterwards, nothingness. That used to scare me but there is nothing to be scared of.
And I know I say all this. even though I can't exactly put the feeling into words. But I don't want others to feel there is no way out, but I totally get that there isn't. I don't believe in the pro-life ideas. But I do think it's horrible that someone comes to the conclusion that they must take it away themselves. Like when it's me, it doesn't feel that extreme. But again this could all be rooted in the fact that I don't care enough, it's hard for me to understand that others can feel this deeply about such a decision.
Where I was going with this is that, some people can come to a same conclusion I did and have a perfect life I suppose. Like I feel like if I had a perfect body, face, family, and people liked me, I could suck up any other challenges that came my way no? But I really conflict myself when I start to think about this. I maybe have much more than some, live a less miserable life, but I've came to the conclusion that I simply don't have to put up with all this bs. If someone who had a life like I described before felt this way, i think i would be angry, they wasted so much, just because they didn't want to.
idrk maybe i'm not as pro-choice as I initially thought before I wrote this, I want to know how others see this prospective as most likely a pro-choice idealist. Do you understand what I've tried to say?
Anyways, If we lived in a fully pro-choice society, would suicide always be justified to you truly.
And I know I say all this. even though I can't exactly put the feeling into words. But I don't want others to feel there is no way out, but I totally get that there isn't. I don't believe in the pro-life ideas. But I do think it's horrible that someone comes to the conclusion that they must take it away themselves. Like when it's me, it doesn't feel that extreme. But again this could all be rooted in the fact that I don't care enough, it's hard for me to understand that others can feel this deeply about such a decision.
Where I was going with this is that, some people can come to a same conclusion I did and have a perfect life I suppose. Like I feel like if I had a perfect body, face, family, and people liked me, I could suck up any other challenges that came my way no? But I really conflict myself when I start to think about this. I maybe have much more than some, live a less miserable life, but I've came to the conclusion that I simply don't have to put up with all this bs. If someone who had a life like I described before felt this way, i think i would be angry, they wasted so much, just because they didn't want to.
idrk maybe i'm not as pro-choice as I initially thought before I wrote this, I want to know how others see this prospective as most likely a pro-choice idealist. Do you understand what I've tried to say?
Anyways, If we lived in a fully pro-choice society, would suicide always be justified to you truly.