A question

[Sprite_Geist]

If somebody hurts you so much to the point that you dislike them as a person, but then they decide to shower you with gifts - are you obligated to accept those gifts, or to like that person? If you still dislike that person for how they have treat you, and you still think they are a bad person does that make you ungrateful?

 

[Nymph]

If they hurt you and they're a shitty person then you're not obligated to accept their gifts and if you don't accept their gifts it doesn't make you ungrateful. With these kind of people it's best to cut ties and go no contact. They're trying to lure you with gifts

 

[GoneGirl]

No, you're not obligated to do or feel anything. However, to me it seems that the person is seeking forgiveness by sending gifts. You can forgive without accepting that person back into your life. Maybe let the person know that and the gifts may stop x

 

[MindFog]

Of course not. It's not your responsibility to forgive them, even if they try to make peace. It's their job to make amends with you. If they ever try to tell that to you, keep in mind its because they won't want to deal with the mess they've done, mate. Don't feel guilty for being hurt.

 

[Ghost2211]

No, you're not obligated to accept the gifts, and if you do so a simple thank you is sufficient. Being given gifts does not make you obligated to maintain a relationship either. Forgiving people does not mean you have to let them back into your life to hurt you.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

That's a control tactic right ?

 

[Ghost2211]

That's a control tactic right ?

It can be, but you don't have to let it be. Either accept or don't, but still maintain boundaries.

 

[Pookie]

That sort of hot and cold behaviour is typical of abusive personalities. Your gut instinct is correct, you still dislike this person and with good reason. This doesn't mean you're ungrateful, this means that you're smart. Abusers use gifts to manipulate and it seems you can see through the manipulations and bullshit.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Thank you for the posts and the variety of answers. This will definitely give me something to think about. Thank you again.