Discussion A question for trans women

[Forever Sleep]

I'm really hoping this doesn't come across as anti-trans. I really hope I'm not. I do completely believe that you can feel like you are not the biological sex you were born. I really hope it's not going to be really triggering too. I will be talking about anatomy like wombs and menstruation- so, I don't want to upset anyone if that's going to be triggering. I guess I'm just so curious really.

That said, I suppose I'm going to admit that I don't enjoy being female (cis). I especially don't enjoy menstruation! I'm just so curious about trans women in particular I suppose. Do you actually feel a want to experience it? I read that the hormone therapy can cause symptoms similar to PMT. I was so curious about that. Has anyone here had them and were they horrible? I'm especially suicidal before my period. Even if things are going better, I will be in such a dark place the day before. Plus- I drop stuff! It's weird- I become super clumsy. I wondered if it's similar.

I guess the main thing is the womb though. Do you really want one and all that it entails? Bleeding and possible pregnancy? I imagine there could be a very strong desire to have a child if you feel female. I'm kind of grateful I haven't experienced that! I've turned out quite antinatilist.

Still, I'm just so curious- if the only way to become female was to have a womb and periods- would you still do it? I guess I'm showing my own bias there. I think- God, it's not worth it for this but then, I've been fortunate I guess in not having to go through gender dysmorphia. It has to be awful. You do have my sympathy. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I don't think they really want all the pain. They want affirmation. That's a big thing with trans people. Whatever the cost, affirmation and euphoria is what they want. I've heard of trans men having hysterectomies to feel more like a man, yet I am not sure if you can feel whether you have ovaries inside you or not? But them KNOWING that the ovaries are gone is what gives euphoria.

I'm answering because they left you hanging. If a trans person wants to correct me, that's fine.

 

[BlackMoon]

Because of how look the results of the actual genital operations, I don't want to do it at all. It looks horrible and repulsive as fuck, also I don't really have a dysphoria about my genital parts. It's more about all the others physical aspects (chest, hairs, voice, etc) and how people see me.

But if it was possible to have the exact same genitals as a cis woman, and that it was the only way to have all the passing I need, even if periods are the cost, damn it I'll go through it. I can't look at myself in a mirror most of the time because of my dysphoria. If I wanted to live, I would definitely spend my money in laser and all the treatments possible to avoid being so ugly and un-me (except genitals as I said). But in the end, what's the point if I want to kill myself ? I don't know.

 

[Linda]

I'm really hoping this doesn't come across as anti-trans. I really hope I'm not. I do completely believe that you can feel like you are not the biological sex you were born. I really hope it's not going to be really triggering too. I will be talking about anatomy like wombs and menstruation- so, I don't want to upset anyone if that's going to be triggering. I guess I'm just so curious really.

That said, I suppose I'm going to admit that I don't enjoy being female (cis). I especially don't enjoy menstruation! I'm just so curious about trans women in particular I suppose. Do you actually feel a want to experience it? I read that the hormone therapy can cause symptoms similar to PMT. I was so curious about that. Has anyone here had them and were they horrible? I'm especially suicidal before my period. Even if things are going better, I will be in such a dark place the day before. Plus- I drop stuff! It's weird- I become super clumsy. I wondered if it's similar.

I guess the main thing is the womb though. Do you really want one and all that it entails? Bleeding and possible pregnancy? I imagine there could be a very strong desire to have a child if you feel female. I'm kind of grateful I haven't experienced that! I've turned out quite antinatilist.

Still, I'm just so curious- if the only way to become female was to have a womb and periods- would you still do it? I guess I'm showing my own bias there. I think- God, it's not worth it for this but then, I've been fortunate I guess in not having to go through gender dysmorphia. It has to be awful. You do have my sympathy. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

Judging from the trans women I have known, I would say there are as many different answers to your questions as there are trans women (and you seem only to be talking about trans women not trans people in general). There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to gender identity. There is a great deal of diversity.

 

[Berzzen]

hi, adult trans woman here!
if you want the long label, i'm a "nonbinary transsexual bi-dyke" haha
edit: sorry, i ended up typing a lot! hopefully its all useful, im known to ramble.

i like this question, it got me to make an account on the forums

there are lots of different feelings about this among trans women, and theyre too numerous to even categorize into groups. every trans person ive met has had slightly different feelings about their genitals, specifically.

it wont answer your question, but here are some paraphrased opinions ive heard from other trans women over the years, as a start:

• i love my body, i dont want female repro at all
• i love my dick, but hate my testes because testosterone is poison
• i dont feel anything about my current parts. im just going to do whats convenient or easy.
• i normally like my body, but sometimes i get womb envy, when seeing pregnant women; periods seem awful
• i'm so glad i got bottom surgery, this is perfect for me
• bottom surgery isnt exactly what i hoped it would be, but its fine
• i wish i could get full install - i hope they start doing uterus transplants in my lifetime
• i dont want surgery, but i really wish i was born with fully functioning female repro system

note: i havent personally met any trans women for whom their bottom surgery was a disaster, but ive seen some posts online. i think it might be rarer.

here are my feelings:
i am a woman, i grew up surrounded with cis women in my family. as an adult ive been friends with/sexually active with all kinds of women. so as far as my mileage as a trans woman goes, i think ive got a humble amount of realistic sympathy for what periods can be like, and some awareness of the natalist pressures you mentioned.

even so ive always wanted to be a cis woman with a fully functioning repro system. realistically ill take what i can get (except for the rare days when i cry about it). i got bottom surgery some years ago, because i didnt think uterine transplants would be accessible any time soon, and i thought it would be better to just have a vagina on its own as soon as possible (mine turned out great, im still happy enough with it).

accepting the symptoms of periods, and the weird social entitlement to other womens bodies that some people have about pregnancy, and all of it, would have been worth it, in order to have a cis woman's body and be in the cis woman in-group.

i think that if i could snap my fingers and magically have that, then even the pain/discomfort/etc. would be welcome things, because they'd be part of the whole experience. At least at first. After a few periods and i'd probably be just as sick of them as anyone.

I guess, one of the things that has been very painful in the past has been cis women holding periods up as a way i'll never really "understand" womanhood. it can hurt a lot for me personally, because i do crave that.

all that said, ive had lots of wonderful experiences as a trans woman in my body, too, so. guess im okay with settling for "good enough", haha.

 

[ChildrensITV]

• i love my body, i dont want female repro at all

You DON'T want female repro? I'll come back to this.

• i love my dick, but hate my testes because testosterone is poison

Note that poison kills you. If you get poisoned and lie down on the floor and wait, it will kill you. Testosterone will not do this. It is not poison cuz it's how your forefathers made you (and all of us). It is one of the building blocks of life. If Test didn't exist, none of us would (which would be a good thing IMO, but I digress).

So I would say that Test is something that causes you dysphoria but it is absolutely not poison. Trans men inject it daily and they don't die. Men and women have it flowing through them and they live.

Try not to see it so negatively. It is just a hormone. One you don't like in the male quantities you have had it in (unless you take estrogen, which I assume so, cuz you had SRS), but it is not poison. View it as part of an accident of your birth. You were given a certain biology that you didn't consent to. None of us did TBH. But you took steps to change it. I think the mindset that is healthier is not for you to view it is as this thing that ruined your life but something you sought to overcome.

It doesn't define you cuz you are more than your hormones and you can change them!

• i dont want surgery, but i really wish i was born with fully functioning female repro system

So you DO want female repro?

Do you mean, you wish you were BORN with it but you don't want to "UPGRADE" to it?


Anyway, you sound like a good person. Do you think you can overcome your biology and past and find it in yourself to stick around or would you say you're at risk? Do you have support?