platypusfan
Member
- Jun 29, 2023
- 91
It seems like the logical answer, for me, at least.
I have had lots of improvement in my depression and life. It has been ten years since I started treatments, to summarize the story, it all went terribly until up about the last year. I finally found a method that worked for me (for anyone curious, 50mg Prozac, monitored marijuana+shrooms use, quitting therapy, utilizing distractions, and lots of exercise). I am, in part, lucky, and this only happened because past attempts didn't work. If you are also searching for recovery and have any questions about it, feel free to ask. Starting this year, I have had significantly less breakdowns, my grades have improved (no failed classes in university for once!), I am healthier, and I even have a girlfriend!
But there are things that I am missing that don't make it worth it. It is hard to feel happiness, or true love, and that makes me feel like a terrible person for the situation im in right now. Additionally, my family will never accept me. And third, I have serious gender dysphoria and haven't transitioned, which feels terrible everyday, but transitioning would also feel terrible just because of the way people work. I also feel constant guilt from everything happening around the world. It seems physically impossible for me to be happy when there are other people suffering.
I still don't feel like a human. Even if everything I can control gets better, there are things I can't control that are still excruciating, that I can't get rid of, because I was simply made like that.
Also, I'd like to say, the only reason quitting therapy helped was for personal reasons. I wouldn't recommend other people do this, because therapy can be very helpful for some people.
For me, since I grew up poor we had pretty bad options, and I was sort of stuck in this system at this one place that kept switching out people, and none of them seemed to care. They made me feel like I had to be a certain way or think a certain way, and as it turns out, some people are just different, so this might not work for everyone.
I have had lots of improvement in my depression and life. It has been ten years since I started treatments, to summarize the story, it all went terribly until up about the last year. I finally found a method that worked for me (for anyone curious, 50mg Prozac, monitored marijuana+shrooms use, quitting therapy, utilizing distractions, and lots of exercise). I am, in part, lucky, and this only happened because past attempts didn't work. If you are also searching for recovery and have any questions about it, feel free to ask. Starting this year, I have had significantly less breakdowns, my grades have improved (no failed classes in university for once!), I am healthier, and I even have a girlfriend!
But there are things that I am missing that don't make it worth it. It is hard to feel happiness, or true love, and that makes me feel like a terrible person for the situation im in right now. Additionally, my family will never accept me. And third, I have serious gender dysphoria and haven't transitioned, which feels terrible everyday, but transitioning would also feel terrible just because of the way people work. I also feel constant guilt from everything happening around the world. It seems physically impossible for me to be happy when there are other people suffering.
I still don't feel like a human. Even if everything I can control gets better, there are things I can't control that are still excruciating, that I can't get rid of, because I was simply made like that.
Also, I'd like to say, the only reason quitting therapy helped was for personal reasons. I wouldn't recommend other people do this, because therapy can be very helpful for some people.
For me, since I grew up poor we had pretty bad options, and I was sort of stuck in this system at this one place that kept switching out people, and none of them seemed to care. They made me feel like I had to be a certain way or think a certain way, and as it turns out, some people are just different, so this might not work for everyone.
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