A local cop committed suicide a few months ago

[Juggernaut]

It doesnt say her method, she may own a gun of her own but it wasnt her service pistol because that was revoked and nobody called in to report hearing a gunshot so she may have hung herself, her boyfriend found her one day after she was released from the hospital for stress leave and dropped off at home by her department. She was worried about the repercussions of reporting sexual misconduct with two other officers. She joins the 60+ other Police officers who have committed suicide this year. 159 were reported in 2018 but the numbers are higher as alot are not reported since the federal law doesn't mandate it. NYPD lost four last month, two within 24 hours, they are all shooting themselves in the head. One shot himself this month while on duty, just pulled over to side if the road and did it. Some are job call related PTSD but many are unexplained long term depression or disciplinary action motivated. The French police have it the worst as they loose one officer every 4 days and they just lost one of the main advocates to anti suicide to her own suicide by gunshot. She texted her partner "goodbye" and shot herself. We cant ALL be insane, we cant ALL be wrong, I know I cant continue on either. I was forced back to work one week after loosing my K9 partner if over 6 years, and being paired up with a new dog was like saying "here you go, we replaced him". I gave it 6 months, I quit my job June 1 and was off for a month on stress leave, then I got a message the other day from another company asking me to come back and work in their K9 unit. I am broken, completely broken, 6 months later and it hurts like the first day still. I understand entirely what these cops are going through, I really do.

I gotta say I envy them, I wish I owned a handgun too, I could have seen this through ages ago.

If you had access to a gun would you use it? Or go out another way?

 

[cornflowerblue]

Gun would be an absolute last resort for me. The chance of survival is too high, especially since I don't know how to use one and I'm sure I'd panic and twitch and mess up the angle at the last minute.

 

[Juggernaut]

Gun would be an absolute last resort for me. The chance of survival is too high, especially since I don't know how to use one and I'm sure I'd panic and twitch and mess up the angle at the last minute.

Thats actually very possible, you could miss, or you could survive with a bullet lodged in your brain, but higher calibre makes a difference. I was actually reading the other night where an officer tried to shoot himself in the head and missed and then claimed the gun went off by accident but his department wasn't buying that story

 

[cornflowerblue]

Thats actually very possible, you could miss, or you could survive with a bullet lodged in your brain, but higher calibre makes a difference. I was actually reading the other night where an officer tried to shoot himself in the head and missed and then claimed the gun went off by accident but his department wasn't buying that story

Wow I guess even gun experts can still have that moment of last minute panic and miss.

 

[TimeToDie]

Those who can't get guns often think it would be so easy to pull the trigger though all of us with guns know that's not the case at all. Thus far I haven't heard of anybody on this forum who CTB by gun (in the 3 months I've been reading it). Guns are surprisingly unpopular around here even though they make up 51% of suicides in the US.

The chance of survival is too high, especially since I don't know how to use one and I'm sure I'd panic and twitch and mess up the angle at the last minute.

Any method has some risk of survival. There are folks who have survived Nembutal, waking up days later. Very rare, but possible. Hanging is wildly popular around here & is the 2nd leading method in the US even though we all saw that post about the British guy who's severely brain damaged & in a wheelchair after being "saved" while hanging. The chance of survival certainly is much too high if one does a half-assed shooting, like shooting yourself with a rented .22LR at a local range. I can't possibly explain that one -- any of their 50 other rental handguns would have been superior, be it .380, .38, .40, .357, .45, or .44 Mag. But even that dumbass died -- three days later in the hospital.

Then I saw a guy here who bought a 9mm S&W Shield, which again I can't explain since for $50 less he could have had a 12-gauge shotgun which is vastly more powerful. Moral of the story is don't use a handgun if you can get a shotgun. And shoot yourself in the head, since many of those survivors aimed for heart (and typically missed) or abdomen (which is slow death, if not survival).

Nembutal is seen as the holy grail, even though poisoning is statistically very unlikely to result in death. Though those odds of death get close to 100% if you use the best poison in the world, just like the odds of death -- and a very rapid death at that -- get close to 100% with a shotgun to head.

Another key: don't aim under the chin. This will happen when the shotgun is too damn long. Most shotguns have barrels around 24" (some go up to 28"). The minimum in the US is 18", and there are lots of shotguns made for home defense with 18.5" barrels to meet that NFA rule. A hacksaw can also be used, though cutting down to under 18" is a felony, not that dead folks care.

 

[cornflowerblue]

Those who can't get guns often think it would be so easy to pull the trigger though all of us with guns know that's not the case at all. Thus far I haven't heard of anybody on this forum who CTB by gun (in the 3 months I've been reading it). Guns are surprisingly unpopular around here even though they make up 51% of suicides in the US.


Any method has some risk of survival. There are folks who have survived Nembutal, waking up days later. Very rare, but possible. Hanging is wildly popular around here & is the 2nd leading method in the US even though we all saw that post about the British guy who's severely brain damaged & in a wheelchair after being "saved" while hanging. The chance of survival certainly is much too high if one does a half-assed shooting, like shooting yourself with a rented .22LR at a local range. I can't possibly explain that one -- any of their 50 other rental handguns would have been superior, be it .380, .38, .40, .357, .45, or .44 Mag. But even that dumbass died -- three days later in the hospital.

Then I saw a guy here who bought a 9mm S&W Shield, which again I can't explain since for $50 less he could have had a 12-gauge shotgun which is vastly more powerful. Moral of the story is don't use a handgun if you can get a shotgun. And shoot yourself in the head, since many of those survivors aimed for heart (and typically missed) or abdomen (which is slow death, if not survival).

Nembutal is seen as the holy grail, even though poisoning is statistically very unlikely to result in death. Though those odds of death get close to 100% if you use the best poison in the world, just like the odds of death -- and a very rapid death at that -- get close to 100% with a shotgun.

I was saying for me personally, I'd have a high rate of failure, since I'm so unaccustomed to guns and the whole idea of the sound and all that makes me so nervous. My motor skills aren't so great in general either. And I don't know what it would take for me to pull the trigger. Plus I don't like the impact it leaves on loved ones and whoever has to find the body, clean the surroundings, and all that.

I'm sure for other people it's as reliable as N.

The OP was about what we'd personally do though, not about the quality of the method on average.

 

[Joannf]

It doesnt say her method, she may own a gun of her own but it wasnt her service pistol because that was revoked and nobody called in to report hearing a gunshot so she may have hung herself, her boyfriend found her one day after she was released from the hospital for stress leave and dropped off at home by her department. She was worried about the repercussions of reporting sexual misconduct with two other officers. She joins the 60+ other Police officers who have committed suicide this year. 159 were reported in 2018 but the numbers are higher as alot are not reported since the federal law doesn't mandate it. NYPD lost four last month, two within 24 hours, they are all shooting themselves in the head. One shot himself this month while on duty, just pulled over to side if the road and did it. Some are job call related PTSD but many are unexplained long term depression or disciplinary action motivated. The French police have it the worst as they loose one officer every 4 days and they just lost one of the main advocates to anti suicide to her own suicide by gunshot. She texted her partner "goodbye" and shot herself. We cant ALL be insane, we cant ALL be wrong, I know I cant continue on either. I was forced back to work one week after loosing my K9 partner if over 6 years, and being paired up with a new dog was like saying "here you go, we replaced him". I gave it 6 months, I quit my job June 1 and was off for a month on stress leave, then I got a message the other day from another company asking me to come back and work in their K9 unit. I am broken, completely broken, 6 months later and it hurts like the first day still. I understand entirely what these cops are going through, I really do.

I gotta say I envy them, I wish I owned a handgun too, I could have seen this through ages ago.

If you had access to a gun would you use it? Or go out another way?

Have a nine and wouldn't miss (it's not that hard) but it's a nasty feeling to put a big automatic in your mouth upside-down so that you'd pull the trigger with your thumb, it tastes all wrong and you look at yourself in the mirror and you know how damn loud it is when the CZ goes bang in a closed room, and you can already smell the powder... and then you think, ugh - I'll patiently build my CO machine, even if that's way more complicated...
Btw French cops are now already actively being used against their own populace... that means additional stress as you can see.
Wondering if that will be the case in other countries. Cops don't seem to be popular anymore in the US, either.
They may one day have to decide whose side they are on - it's not just a job anymore, one that you chose because it meant you'd always be among the "good guys."

 

[not_a_robot]

It doesnt say her method, she may own a gun of her own but it wasnt her service pistol because that was revoked and nobody called in to report hearing a gunshot so she may have hung herself, her boyfriend found her one day after she was released from the hospital for stress leave and dropped off at home by her department. She was worried about the repercussions of reporting sexual misconduct with two other officers. She joins the 60+ other Police officers who have committed suicide this year. 159 were reported in 2018 but the numbers are higher as alot are not reported since the federal law doesn't mandate it. NYPD lost four last month, two within 24 hours, they are all shooting themselves in the head. One shot himself this month while on duty, just pulled over to side if the road and did it. Some are job call related PTSD but many are unexplained long term depression or disciplinary action motivated. The French police have it the worst as they loose one officer every 4 days and they just lost one of the main advocates to anti suicide to her own suicide by gunshot. She texted her partner "goodbye" and shot herself. We cant ALL be insane, we cant ALL be wrong, I know I cant continue on either. I was forced back to work one week after loosing my K9 partner if over 6 years, and being paired up with a new dog was like saying "here you go, we replaced him". I gave it 6 months, I quit my job June 1 and was off for a month on stress leave, then I got a message the other day from another company asking me to come back and work in their K9 unit. I am broken, completely broken, 6 months later and it hurts like the first day still. I understand entirely what these cops are going through, I really do.

I gotta say I envy them, I wish I owned a handgun too, I could have seen this through ages ago.

If you had access to a gun would you use it? Or go out another way?

Read about Adrian Schoolcraft.
This girl was going against the Dept. Not tolerated. Probably murder.

Adrian Schoolcraft - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

His story also illustrates the real reason for the "mental health" system; silencing and discrediting anyone who might become inconvenient.

 

[262653]

About shooters that missed their mark. Am I missing something? Why not combine gun with hanging? You got your hand on a well-functioning gun, that's already an accomplishment, I guess? Comparitively getting a rope isn't that much of a problem, is it?

 

[Soul]

@Juggernaut, I'm sorry you're in distress, and about the loss of your K9 partner - condolences. Besides the "stress leave" have you gotten any help - any therapy or meds or counselling?

 

[Juggernaut]

@Juggernaut, I'm sorry you're in distress, and about the loss of your K9 partner - condolences. Besides the "stress leave" have you gotten any help - any therapy or meds or counselling?

Thank you for your kind words. In answer, No, to be honest I don't want to be medicated (it makes me feel like I am forgetting him) and I dont think talking to a professional will help, I never did have any huge love of life but I enjoyed certain things and had goals and achievements. One of the most painful aspects is that I had alot of plans and goals with him, we were schedued to compete in the US Police dog Gauntlet this year, he was going to take his first helicopter ride, get the last ribbon for his AKC title, and start training in article recovery. His passing took everybody by shock. All of that plus the loss of the best thing that ever happened to me is unbearable, they really cant understand the emotional bond we have with our partners unless they've walked in our shoes. Our dogs do everything for us, but my boy was extra special, smart as a whip, always eager to please, accept any challenge, conquer any feat, never wanting to leave my side. I wanted to change places with him in that hospital, I would have done anything just to have him back.

My trainers and boss tried to console me at the time by telling me how they too had lost their best dogs, my boss had just put down a couple of his patrol dogs, the head trainers dog was put down earlier that year after collapsing with internal bleeding and the other trainer lost his partner to bloat but when they started down the "you cant blame yourself, nothing you did wrong, nothing you could have done".....I have to stop listening, I already heard that from the vet, I DO blame myself everyday and that guilt will never cease no matter what, I could have let him keep fighting, waited longer, he may have survived but he would have been in pain, I wanted to spare him that but I will always wonder if I did what was best for him or did I give up when he needed me most.....there is an internal conflict in me, a feeling that I lost more than him, I lost a sense of me as well.....I have no desire to stick around, I've procrastinated for 6 months, my time is almost here

 

[Tristevie]

@Juggernaut I confirm for the French police 36 dead since the beginning of 2019 ... the last suicide 3 days ago

 

[Soul]

I'm so very sorry, @Juggernaut. Your eloquence about your bond with your partner is very moving. All the things I'd like to say to you feel small and clumsy in comparison. You two were wonderful together, and he was thrilled to be your partner, and you both did your very best for each other. (((Hugs)))