A hollowed shell or a barrier that separates the ones who are free from it all

[Surai]

Will we ever see the end. When they are all waiting for us behind the wall. It's like a hollowed out shell of an egg. Oh I wish I was on the other side, but I have to crack that surface not knowing what I'll see on the other. Always not sure if I could make it. I just hope we all make it. Through that shell that confides all of us. All of us are stuck in seeping yolk that doesn't seem to give out until it's cooked all the way through. I'll cry alone in my room at the latest of nights hoping it would be my last. Hoping it would be the last, I would ever have to think. To ever have to remember all of the proding and poking of this worlds bony hands. I've lost too many, and it hurts greatly to see them go away. Don't you miss out on all of the ones. Who made it out. It's as if they are waiting but they aren't waiting. A memory some had shared, floating above the earth with two spirits. Giving us the choice of what we were born as, one had said it would be harder to be born like this and what I had chosen. To enter the earth and give it a try. Oh what naive optimism some of us had. It never got better has it. It somehow got worse. And it makes sense. That's the worst part. It all makes sense to this animal world. Nature is something more should hate. For making the vile way animals work be what's natural. Falling into the natural rythms of soft sound flowing. Beating upon her chest. Deciding what we do. How we feel with all of the emotions and what we could find between. They force their thoughts as if truth. As if it's the ultimate deciding factor. For what life is. It's nothing and more. It's like a snake eating tail wrapped between its own flesh ripping at the flesh torn tired knuckles of all we ever would be. This world loops in ways that are so jarring. It kills the mind of whoever tries to understand it. I don't need to understand it. I need to leave it. And I hope Im not the only one.