lv-nii
rotting
- Jul 7, 2024
- 80
August 17:
I got a job!
For a moment, I thought I could finally let my mind rest… or at least that's what I told myself. I really believed that going back to work would distract me, and for a while, it did. But now I've fallen right back into feeling the same as before—like shit.
The other day I was with my nephew. We were playing Half-Life, and I was showing him how to use a computer. Then we started talking about my dad (his grandpa). He loved him so much—he was his favorite. When he passed away, my nephew suffered a lot too, just like I did. What I didn't see coming was him saying: "I don't want to lose another family member. I really miss grandpa. Do you miss him too?"
Man… that broke me inside. I really don't want to leave him alone. Am I being selfish with myself? I don't ever want to hurt my nephew—I love that kid so much (he's only 8). I don't want him to go through the same pain I did. But honestly, I don't know how much longer I can keep holding on. I just… don't know what to do.
I got a job!
For a moment, I thought I could finally let my mind rest… or at least that's what I told myself. I really believed that going back to work would distract me, and for a while, it did. But now I've fallen right back into feeling the same as before—like shit.
The other day I was with my nephew. We were playing Half-Life, and I was showing him how to use a computer. Then we started talking about my dad (his grandpa). He loved him so much—he was his favorite. When he passed away, my nephew suffered a lot too, just like I did. What I didn't see coming was him saying: "I don't want to lose another family member. I really miss grandpa. Do you miss him too?"
Man… that broke me inside. I really don't want to leave him alone. Am I being selfish with myself? I don't ever want to hurt my nephew—I love that kid so much (he's only 8). I don't want him to go through the same pain I did. But honestly, I don't know how much longer I can keep holding on. I just… don't know what to do.
