NSFW A farewell from a former Psycopath

[Jjabrams5095]

Honestly, you not wanting to bring it up is more about your own discomfort then what's best for your sister, and what's the right thing to do, ie take direct responsibility. Relationships are ruined by pretending problems don't exist, by lying to each other and not being accountable to ourselves or the people that we've hurt by our actions. That's far more toxic and relationship perverting than the truth could ever be. Ask anyone who has been the victim of abuse and lived in a culture, or household, or family dynamics of secrecy, denial, shame, or lies surrounding their abuse.

If you knew it was wrong and you manipulated her into getting what you wanted out of it, that it was a deliberate choice and not something protected by the innocence of childhood.

Yes, there are all sorts of humans.
Some good some bad.
Unfortunately I'm one of the bad ones.
Whatever circumstances created it is irrelevant.
Im one of the bad ones.
a theif was thought.
A serial killer has u spurpressed urges with lack of empathy.
Every human has their own motivations for doing what they do.
I do hear your perspective though.
And youre right, it was manipulative for sure, however I will still say that I did not have the brain I do now where I can understand what I'm doing and their impact.
Not an excuse just the explanation just like I did for the serial killer and thieves.
I hear your perspective.
But I can't do that right this moment.
I dont know how even though I want to make it right with every fibre of my being.
I can write about it though like here.
So I can write about it to her when I'm gone if I choose that way.
Or I could well I dont know.
This isn't an easy confession you know.
Its very hard for me.
If you have any tips for me to do the right thing then I'd like to hear them.
I

Al altrn8tve wld b t/ 1 dy sy t/ hr or wrte a nte sayng hw mch u lve hr & tht if thre = n.ethng tht u evr d/ or hve evr dne t/ hrt hr thn u wnt hr t/ knw tht sh/ cn tlk 2 u bcse u cre abt hr feelngs & wll-bein

Tht wy if sh/ = carryng n.ethng thn sh/ knws tht u r openng up dialgue bt if sh/ = nt awre of n.ethng tht sh/ = carryng thn = wld nt dsturb hr as mch

& jst fr hr t/ knw in th/ presnt tht u r sme1 tht sh/ cn trst

Thank you.
I actually really like this idea.
I'll consider trying something similar

 

[Light_]

I gave you my tips as I see them for doing the right thing, which was too take accountability and responsibility for what you did. I hear that you're not comfortable with that, but again, that's more about you than what happened to the person, your sister, who was victimized. I'm not saying the situation is easy for you, but I'm also certainly not saying it's easy for her, what she had to go through. If you're concern is for her, then your actions should match that, if you're concern is mostly for yourself and your own discomfort, then your actions will match that. It's your decision what you do with your life and your consciousness choices. I think there's a better way forward.

 

[Jjabrams5095]

I gave you my tips as I see them for doing the right thing, which was too take accountability and responsibility for what you did. I hear that you're not comfortable with that, but again, that's more about you than what happened to the person, your sister, who was victimized. I'm not saying the situation is easy for you, but I'm also certainly not saying it's easy for her, what she had to go through. If you're concern is for her, then your actions should match that, if you're concern is mostly for yourself and your own discomfort, then your actions will match that. It's your decision what you do with your life and your consciousness choices. I think there's a better way forward.

Yeah okay.
I need some time to figure it out.
I agree with you.
I just dont know how to navigate through my own head to do it.
Dot's suggestion is my best starting point.