A close friend is catching the bus later today

[borderline-feline]

I don't know how to feel right now. I had a feeling that this time would come at some point, but I didn't want to accept it. I feel like such a hypocrite wanting him to stay despite being pro-choice. Committing suicide is a personal choice, and I respect and support his decision, but a part of me wishes that he wouldn't do it. He was with me through a lot, even helping me heal after I got out of an abusive relationship. I'm gonna miss him so much. He's like a brother to me. I would even say that I consider him my brother. I've let him down a lot, and I've been a bad friend in the past, so I especially feel guilty about wanting him to live. I'm fucking pathetic.

Am I a hypocrite for bending into this once it hits close to home? Am I selfish for wanting him to stay?

 

[rozeske]

It's the natural response most of us would automatically have when informed of such news. Doesn't make you selfish. Make sure your friend is not looking for help or to be saved when they told you this. It's not always the case but it's a possibility for some people. It's not an easy thing to be aware of, I wish you strength and your friend all the best.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say you were just human. I'd feel and have felt the same. We can't help it when we form connections with people. We're hard wired to do that. It's actually a compliment to say you're going to miss someone. They made a positive difference to your life. That's kind of the greatest thing any of us can do.

But, of course you feel upset. We seem to be stuck here for now and it will be that little bit or a lot harder without them. So- no- I don't think it's hypocritical. It's just a confusing mess I find. We have to respect their wishes because we are pro-choice. We also care about them and care that they are suffering. So, it seems monstrous to try and prevent them ending their suffering. But, we're only human. We know we'll miss them. We'll know it will be harder for us when they're gone. I'd say most people are at least a little bit selfish or- they don't make connections with people the same, so it doesn't trouble them. So, I don't think you should beat yourself up about it. I'm sorry. Sounds like it will be a very tough day for you.

 

[LunarCharm]

you're just human. I think it's natural for us to be selfish in some ways, especially in regards to connection.
I am pro-choice myself, but selfishly if my younger siblings came to me discussing suicide I would want them to stay; same situation with someone like my ex for example.
I care about these people, even if they didn't care for me. And when we care for someone we want them around.
It might be hypocritical by definition, but it's entirely understandable and normal to feel that way.
I wish you strength, I know it's going to be hard.

 

[borderline-feline]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I have an update.

He changed his mind. I feel happy that he isn't gone, and I don't feel conflicted anymore.

 

[willitpass]

This is why I don't get angry at pro-lifers (not the ones who dox people, I'm talking about the majority of the population who are anti-suicide who don't harass us). It's an extremely difficult thing to deal with, especially if the other person hasn't been through it themselves. Losing someone to suicide with never be easy to accept. I'm glad you are able to keep your friend for another day, and I truly hope that they are able to find peace in this life somehow.