Spaztism
Sleep Forever
- Mar 13, 2023
- 32
(Currently got stuff sat in my amazon cart for night night)
I'm on the autistic spectrum, was diagnosed at 11 and my life has been very bad, I was sent to a hospital ward this time last year which did help at the time but life is getting a lil bit too much and I'm sick of just distracting myself 24/7. High school I got bullied a lot and diagnosed and treated for depression and anxiety which carried through to university and during university I basically was just drinking alcohol everyday to try and fit in more. I did end up getting a degree in uni but atm I'm working a shitty part time job.
I do enjoy going to underground raves but i still have to drink because I can't deal with socializing. I mostly feel like my friends and family would be so much better without me as I only seem to go work then sit in my room and my fam have contributed a lot to my warped perception on life with telling me to mask and shit. I guess If I could do stuff different I would've continued playing an instrument or make yt vids I want to make. I wish I could find happiness in this life but it all I feel is endless anxiety and sadness. I did meet a girl I like but I think I've already fucked up because she knows how sad I am.
I'm hoping I can finally rest.
(sorry for not talking much on this platform, it takes a lot of mental energy to talk online)
I'm on the autistic spectrum, was diagnosed at 11 and my life has been very bad, I was sent to a hospital ward this time last year which did help at the time but life is getting a lil bit too much and I'm sick of just distracting myself 24/7. High school I got bullied a lot and diagnosed and treated for depression and anxiety which carried through to university and during university I basically was just drinking alcohol everyday to try and fit in more. I did end up getting a degree in uni but atm I'm working a shitty part time job.
I do enjoy going to underground raves but i still have to drink because I can't deal with socializing. I mostly feel like my friends and family would be so much better without me as I only seem to go work then sit in my room and my fam have contributed a lot to my warped perception on life with telling me to mask and shit. I guess If I could do stuff different I would've continued playing an instrument or make yt vids I want to make. I wish I could find happiness in this life but it all I feel is endless anxiety and sadness. I did meet a girl I like but I think I've already fucked up because she knows how sad I am.
I'm hoping I can finally rest.
(sorry for not talking much on this platform, it takes a lot of mental energy to talk online)
