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VentingA bad start really fucks you up
Thread starterdrownll
Start date
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And I know than some have it way worse...
I don't know it feels so unfair, how random your starting point is in life and you have absolutely no choice over it.
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astr4, myusername890, FadingSnowFake and 12 others
Everything in this world is why I'm leaving it... It's such... It's so bad. It's so irreversibly bad and just terrifying to know your fate is determined by the minute your born... :((
Yea it's really humbling and disappointing to realize in hindsight how much of your problems and mental hangups set in in your youth and cannot be changed much afterwards
And I know than some have it way worse...
I don't know it feels so unfair, how random your starting point is in life and you have absolutely no choice over it.
I know what you mean but I think you can turn it around if you try hard enough and learn from your mistakes. I know exactly what you mean though. Getting dealt a bad hand is shitty, but I think it's like a parabola and you can turn it around.
Yes, and you'll be very fortunate if you can meet others who can even understand a little of your struggle. It can be awfully lonely. But how we think about things can change a lot; it can't change the past, but it can change our experience of the darkness within.
It really is so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, more than anything I wish I was never forced to exist, I never should have suffered at all.
I guess there have been people who went from rags to riches but, I suppose they still had to have had some things going for them. An extraordinary talent or just rock solid determination.
True, it isn't fair how uneven the playing field is. I suppose there are still people who have everything going for them and, still end up here though.
Do you think you would have been ok with more things going in your favour? Sometimes, I wonder if I'd end up miserable in any life!
I've been told more or less I was 'lucky' to have certain jobs. Firstly- I actually resent that. I worked bloody hard to educate myself and gain experience to get those jobs. The money they like spent on nice holidays, I spent on my education. So, that kind of annoys me- that people just assume others had it easy.
Asides from that though, those jobs didn't make me happy. Quite the opposite. Yet, others I was sure would struggle when they took over seemed at least happier than me. Not sure really. Sometimes I wonder if anything would make me happy but then, thinking probably not is a better outcome in terms of CTB. It will hopefully eradicate any hope left that things even could be better.
I'm sorry for your situation though. Do you have friends in a similar predicament? Do you talk about it? They must be worried too. Do they have any plans to try and turn things around?
Unfortunately, very true indeed. Yet, I'm thinking now, would I have been able to make it better if I had better opportunities? I would hope so, and surely things would've been easier. But if life is so random, there really are no guarantees. And just when things go right, they can go wrong again. It's like a constant battle, with some of us having to fight harder than others. And because of hardships, perhaps being more appreciative and giving us another perspective. Until one day, everything just gets too much. And this can happen to anyone, regardless of where we started.
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