Sleeper System
Z z Z z Z z Z z Z z Z
- May 5, 2022
- 909
There are so many people on this planet. I'm only in one part of the world and every day I see men and women from all walks of life just... living. And it fills me with so much hatred and sadness.
I makes me think about how many people have such sad and twisted miserable lives and still chose to continue. There are people being abused and dehumanized in dark corners of every place you can imagine and they don't kill themselves. People that have every right to want to die >choosing< to live.
It makes me so angry. I want to be justified in how I feel and seeing these people just pulling through for whatever reason they have fills me with envy because I want to quit so bad and hatred because what right do I have to seek death when they are willing themselves to continue living every day.
We should be hearing about suicides every damn day. People need to bare witness so something can change. but it's all hidden by the media. Like a secret pandemic no one knows to talk about.
I see old people every day. Driving there little cars and slowly shopping around. I wonder what they did in life and how they made it that far. I wonder if my life is at all alike to theirs. Will I end up like that too? Just pulling forward waiting for age to kill me? I can't bare it.
I've seen a guy who was our local homeless man. Every day on the same street begging for a quarter to anyone and everyone trying to get a can of beer or some food. For years and years the same thing. Recently saw him and he's in a wheelchair with both feet amputated and wounds so fresh u can see the raw flesh through the bandages. He's still alive!? Come on man.
I know a place where it's highly likely that women are being trafficked and despite it being reported nothing has happened and those women are just going on living being basically slaves to some criminal organization being forced to do god knows what and it's just another day for them. I don't understand.
Think of prison. All those people guilty or not put into a box and institutionalized to the point they couldn't function in the outside world if they wanted to. Our prisons are full and most death is due to violence not self termination. That doesn't seem like it should be the reality.
If you googled suicide in my area you will find maybe 3 or 4 cases that got any media attention and in my hear im think there is no way that is all there is. When so many people are on the street struggling and sick. I want to know and see the truth!!
So many people with good reason to die and nobody does. Makes me feel like a weak piece of shit. And I know I am.
but I know im not the only one. Just one of the few who are slowly falling into despair and ready to take the big leap to death.
Sorry im venting/ranting my heart out because I feel so pathetic right now. Im just so tired.
I makes me think about how many people have such sad and twisted miserable lives and still chose to continue. There are people being abused and dehumanized in dark corners of every place you can imagine and they don't kill themselves. People that have every right to want to die >choosing< to live.
It makes me so angry. I want to be justified in how I feel and seeing these people just pulling through for whatever reason they have fills me with envy because I want to quit so bad and hatred because what right do I have to seek death when they are willing themselves to continue living every day.
We should be hearing about suicides every damn day. People need to bare witness so something can change. but it's all hidden by the media. Like a secret pandemic no one knows to talk about.
I see old people every day. Driving there little cars and slowly shopping around. I wonder what they did in life and how they made it that far. I wonder if my life is at all alike to theirs. Will I end up like that too? Just pulling forward waiting for age to kill me? I can't bare it.
I've seen a guy who was our local homeless man. Every day on the same street begging for a quarter to anyone and everyone trying to get a can of beer or some food. For years and years the same thing. Recently saw him and he's in a wheelchair with both feet amputated and wounds so fresh u can see the raw flesh through the bandages. He's still alive!? Come on man.
I know a place where it's highly likely that women are being trafficked and despite it being reported nothing has happened and those women are just going on living being basically slaves to some criminal organization being forced to do god knows what and it's just another day for them. I don't understand.
Think of prison. All those people guilty or not put into a box and institutionalized to the point they couldn't function in the outside world if they wanted to. Our prisons are full and most death is due to violence not self termination. That doesn't seem like it should be the reality.
If you googled suicide in my area you will find maybe 3 or 4 cases that got any media attention and in my hear im think there is no way that is all there is. When so many people are on the street struggling and sick. I want to know and see the truth!!
So many people with good reason to die and nobody does. Makes me feel like a weak piece of shit. And I know I am.
but I know im not the only one. Just one of the few who are slowly falling into despair and ready to take the big leap to death.
Sorry im venting/ranting my heart out because I feel so pathetic right now. Im just so tired.
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