5 hours to hotel checkout

[FinalDestination]

I booked the hotel and arrived 30th. It felt harder than I expected to actually commit. I couldn't stop playing the aftermath and how this would hurt the people I know.
When I couldn't do it Saturday night Sunday night it felt something might have changed.

But now sitting here on Monday 5 hours to checkout. It's that feeling again is this still enough time to take sn?

I've just now impulsively taking the meto.

 

[dopaminedeath]

Bruh it's not enough time wdym. It's thawrted if you're found quickly after taking it, they can resuscitate you.

Would it help to have a open conversation about death and dying with the people you have in mind? First have to settle that to have a good transition.

 

[FinalDestination]

Bruh it's not enough time wdym. You want to be found quickly after taking it? That's one way to get thwarted.

Would it help to have a open conversation about death and dying with the people you have in mind? First have to settle that to have a good transition.

really? That's really sad to here I hoped it would still be enough time.. or atleast too late for saving.

I'm not sure it's something I'm ready for. I've never really opened up about this to my family. The 30th was my birthday which I planned to die on but I guess my absence concerned them more than I expected which worsened the guilt

 

[Malfunction]

I don't have a definite answer for you sadly. It seems to vary. I would want as much time as I could get to ensure no one rescues me.

If you've followed the protocol, that will greatly increase your chances of success. Impulse decisions don't usually turn out well.

I would suggest that since you put it off two days, that maybe you need more time to reflect. Also unless you have large enough quantity to retry later, I wouldn't bank that on 5 hours.

 

[geepeedee]

you might barely have enough time. but you don't sound ready.

 

[FinalDestination]

now 4 hours it feels like I'm stuck in this limbo and time just keeps escaping while I'm stuck in indecisiveness.

I think I'm scared of what I'll be returning to if I don't. Continuing the same way. The whole point here was to avoid doing anything at home and traumatising them like that but now I'm not sure what would stop me. It feels like I already failed

I don't have a definite answer for you sadly. It seems to vary. I would want as much time as I could get to ensure no one rescues me.

If you've followed the protocol, that will greatly increase your chances of success. Impulse decisions don't usually turn out well.

I would suggest that since you put it off two days, that maybe you need more time to reflect. Also unless you have large enough quantity to retry later, I wouldn't bank that on 5 hours.

Thank you for replying, I do understand what you're saying

 

[sickofeverything]

Not telling you to do it but I was under the assumption sn only takes 45 minutes to work fully where you can't be revived? I thought hanging was 30 minutes and sn you needed an hour alone? I was planning on having auto send messages for a few hours after I took it which sounds like the time window you're in so I'm confused people are saying it's not enough time

 

[angelhopes]

Maybe take some time to reflect and see where it goes from there?

 

[FinalDestination]

Not telling you to do it but I was under the assumption sn only takes 45 minutes to work fully where you can't be revived? I thought hanging was 30 minutes and sn you needed an hour alone? I was planning on having auto send messages for a few hours after I took it which sounds like the time window you're in so I'm confused people are saying it's not enough time

The 45min is the one I had known also but was now thinking maybe I misunderstood something.

Maybe take some time to reflect and see where it goes from there?

I feel like even in my inactiveness I've made a mess already. Already I have cause worry with my family so perhaps they know something is off. I'm not sure how to deal with that if I go back.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Not telling you to do it but I was under the assumption sn only takes 45 minutes to work fully where you can't be revived? I thought hanging was 30 minutes and sn you needed an hour alone? I was planning on having auto send messages for a few hours after I took it which sounds like the time window you're in so I'm confused people are saying it's not enough time

No I wouldn't, better safe than sorry, I'd leave a window of at least 6 hours JUST IN CASE.

I booked the hotel and arrived 30th. It felt harder than I expected to actually commit. I couldn't stop playing the aftermath and how this would hurt the people I know.
When I couldn't do it Saturday night Sunday night it felt something might have changed.

But now sitting here on Monday 5 hours to checkout. It's that feeling again is this still enough time to take sn?

I've just now impulsively taking the meto.

Are you still here? If you can, it would be better to wait until you have more time. Happy belated birthday.

 

[FinalDestination]

No I wouldn't, better safe than sorry, I'd leave a window of at least 6 hours JUST IN CASE.

Are you still here? If you can, it would be better to wait until you have more time. Happy belated birthday.

Hi yes still here. Based on what everyone has said I was worried it might go wrong even with how intensely I felt in that moment. Not sure I could handle waking up in a hospital. Already checked out early since it wasn't doing much good pacing about just thinking about it. Right now it means for me doing it at home may again be an option which I wanted to avoid

Thank you I think despite it all the trip had good moments

 

[MessyNonsense]

Hi, glad you're still here but sorry it's so tough on you. I don't know your situation but for what it's worth I think it's good you didn't make a hasty decision that could've failed. I think those here saying to take some time to reflect may be right. If it feels too overwhelming to go back home right now, you could always sit in your car (if you drove to the hotel?) and, idk, eat some candy and ice cream and watch videos. Just give yourself a break, you just had a hugely stressful time and some happy brain chemicals never did any harm. Happy belated birthday!

 

[babyneo1]

It's enough if you followed protocol. But as one commenter here said that you don't sound ready and I tend to agree

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Hi yes still here. Based on what everyone has said I was worried it might go wrong even with how intensely I felt in that moment. Not sure I could handle waking up in a hospital. Already checked out early since it wasn't doing much good pacing about just thinking about it. Right now it means for me doing it at home may again be an option which I wanted to avoid

Thank you I think despite it all the trip had good moments

Well, is there any rush? Maybe just wait.

 

[FinalDestination]

Well, is there any rush? Maybe just wait.

I think because I had made the deadline of turning 27 and not having improved. Now thats here still feel completely hopeless. I don't know how long I could continue to drag it out. Even now having arrived back home it's quite overwhelming since I never thought I'd be returning

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

You can check in at most hotels/motels as from 2 pm and are required to check out by 12 am the next day, unless booked for longer. And that means more than enough time to CTB. It requires decisiveness and determination, not spending the afternoon and night wondering whether to CTB or not, then running out of time to do it the next morning. The decent thing is of course to pay for the room in advance or on arrival.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I think because I had made the deadline of turning 27 and not having improved. Now thats here still feel completely hopeless. I don't know how long I could continue to drag it out. Even now having arrived back home it's quite overwhelming since I never thought I'd be returning

Well, you still have the sn, it isn't going anywhere. Do you think it's possible that things could still improve even if it takes longer than you expected? Do you have any hope? If not, do you think you can find any? Is therapy something that could help or is it more about life circumstances that don't seem like they will ever change?

 

[FinalDestination]

Well, you still have the sn, it isn't going anywhere. Do you think it's possible that things could still improve even if it takes longer than you expected? Do you have any hope? If not, do you think you can find any? Is therapy something that could help or is it more about life circumstances that don't seem like they will ever change?

That's something I'm trying to keep in mind. I think I'm at a point where keeping it all in cannot happen anymore if I were to tell myself I'm going to stay around for longer something in my life has to change or speak to someone and get help but I'm not sure what that help looks like.
There must be some small part of me that I guess wants to live longer hence why I never went through with it before and I'm not sure where to go with that. Something has to change otherwise I'll be right back in this spot in no time again. But where I stand now I'm scared of not ctb but also of staying and changing or rather not knowing how to change. It's the stagnant feeling of not moving in any which direction