2/10 life sucked

[AlreadyGone]

Just giving the thread a friendly bump

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It's sad to see her name crossed out. We chated a lot in the previous days of her ctb. May she found peace.

 

[Girobatol]

Ill miss your posts in the music megathread, ms dj.

 

[TAW122]

I may not have had a chance earlier to say this, but I hope your journey to the void/afterlife or whatever is a peaceful one.

 

[MysticPerception]

Alright I'm back. I was hoping the next time I visit it would be me saying I'm not just the bearer of bad news I can bring good news as well. Apparently that's not allowed. No okay I can do that sort of the good news is I'm doing okay right now and today turned out pretty alright in the end. The bad news is someone else is heading your way and I don't know how many more times I can think that before I do it myself. Well it's alright, that's the end goal anyway. I'm not a broken record so I'm not gonna repeat myself every time so to change it up I had to replace my monitor with a TV. This feels strange and the screen is way too big now, it's kind of funny though. Kind of wish it had happened while you were still right there so I could let you know and you could laugh until you can't breathe again. I guess it would be kind of mean to extend your life like that at the time like I did before but I can't help it. Alright I'm keeping this one short here's another flower and a smile. The smile part feels so cheesy but I feel like I have to include that now too every time. I might be forgetful but I won't forget to come back, I can at least promise that much for now.

 

[MysticPerception]

Alright this may be it. I'm doing it tonight just to make sure I don't forget in the morning. This may be the last flower or maybe not I'm not sure we'll see. It's a big gamble now and I'm not sure how I'll win but I feel like I win either way honestly. Either I'll be seeing you soon or heck maybe it will take a while but I'll still see you either way. I got the bag of almonds and I'm going to take it with me if I pass. Or at least it will be on my corpse and make no sense to those that find me lol. Anyway I hope this is the right choice I'm making. I'm kind of shaking. I knew SI would kick in but I didn't think it would hit me before I even do the deed. I'm shivering a lot and I'm kind of afraid of just backing down before I even do it. That would ruin my gamble entirely. Well whatever, one way or another things are going to change in my life now or it's going to end. I'm okay with either really. I'm tired, I think I've done enough. If life deems me to be wrong then I'll put one foot in front of the other and keep try a little more. If that fails though I am absolutely exiting early. Well anyway big smile over here just for you. I'll see you soon or I'll see you later, more flowers if I stay, this is the last if I go. Well I'll give you more in person how about that as a trade off?

I've actually always loved sunflowers. My neighboor when I was little had a garden of them. I've always wanted to stand in a field of sunflowers and just admire their beauty. Never did get to that though. Oh well if I get saved maybe I'll try to do that later and then tell you all about it.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I hope you make the right decision for you and that your suffering ends if that's what you choose.

Or come back here and post more pictures of flowers.

 

[MysticPerception]

I guess I'm back then. I wasn't sure what was going to happen after I passed out but yeah I made it. Also I found it hilarious how I bought the bag of almonds then left them in my closet when I drank the SN. I completely forgot to grab them. If I had shown up empty handed I would have had a riot saying they were like 10 feet away from my bed whoops. But I'm still here, not there. Also the almonds are still here. Since I intend to live for(hopefully) some time after this I would say I guess I should eat them? As I said I'm not that big of a fan unless they're in like cereal now that I think about it but I guess I could try eating them. Or give them away but then they would ask why I suddenly had almonds and I don't feel like lying. Whatever, point is I'm still here so I guess I'll try going to that field of sunflowers eventually. Though knowing me I'm so forgetful I'll never actually go do it. Well I can least remember to leave you some flowers. So here you go, since I don't feel like forgetting I'm doing it right now. While I regret not being able to see you for some time I'm sure this is just how things are supposed to be right now.

 

[MysticPerception]

I've been meaning to leave a flower for the past few days but I'm so forgetful, sorry about that. I just realized I still have those almonds in the closet. I wonder if they're still good. I mean to eat I'm not going to use them for anything else. I don't know how to put this honestly but It's like my mind has gone through a massive change recently. I'm just so happy now I don't even think about suicide. It's insane honestly, I don't want to think about the physiological aspects of it so I'm not really bothering to. I'm sorry to say I know I said I would see you in a few months but it looks like it's going to be a long time from now actually. Honestly knowing you you would just be happy for me. I feel kind of bad being the only one between us that got to have such a happiness but at least you're at peace now so there's that. I don't even know what to say more really. I need to get ready for work so I'm keeping this one short. Thank you for being you and being there when you were. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have survived long enough to find this happiness in the first place. Alright that's enough for now I think, I'm giving you a big smile, okay? I'll be back again, you're not forgotten now and you won't be forgotten any time soon.

 

[Jean4]

I've been meaning to leave a flower for the past few days but I'm so forgetful, sorry about that. I just realized I still have those almonds in the closet. I wonder if they're still good. I mean to eat I'm not going to use them for anything else. I don't know how to put this honestly but It's like my mind has gone through a massive change recently. I'm just so happy now I don't even think about suicide. It's insane honestly, I don't want to think about the physiological aspects of it so I'm not really bothering to. I'm sorry to say I know I said I would see you in a few months but it looks like it's going to be a long time from now actually. Honestly knowing you you would just be happy for me. I feel kind of bad being the only one between us that got to have such a happiness but at least you're at peace now so there's that. I don't even know what to say more really. I need to get ready for work so I'm keeping this one short. Thank you for being you and being there when you were. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have survived long enough to find this happiness in the first place. Alright that's enough for now I think, I'm giving you a big smile, okay? I'll be back again, you're not forgotten now and you won't be forgotten any time soon.
View attachment 28135

The power of staying with Jean... and Stan not wanting you.... because if you went it would be darn difficult to keep my promise to stay here. ;)

 

[Ἡγησίας]

We didn't forget you yet, we won't do it soon.