Story 11th hour

[kingfool316]

Happy easter everybody, and to some (hopefully including me) what maybe your last easter. My personal countdown is nearing to an end, and i am just enjoying the last bits of happiness i have left. Mainly watching videos, movies, listening to music, and playing games. I am not gonna lie and say i'm not afraid of death, but i am in an emotional storm right now with fear and relief fighting for dominance. I just wanna get this of my chest as i prepare some of my last meals. I hope all of you get the things you need or want. Thank you all!!!!

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best as well, I hope you find the peace you search for.

 

[kingfool316]

Update:

Fuck i had to move my schedule. I was so prepared but something came up that blew my plans. Now i have to wait til saturday to do it. And that's the earliest possible time! Ah why can't these things happen after i'm gone

 

[Subhumano]

Good luck buddyboyo

 

[kingfool316]

Update: i'm upping my misery. Hopefully it suppress the fear of death but not fully crushing the little happiness i have. It's a balancing act where i end up exhausted and looking at the rope and looking at the sky wishing something big falls on me

 

[kingfool316]

My paranoia is getting to me again. I both like and hate it. One it keeps me up, and it makes me miserable enough to keep going for my plans

 

[kingfool316]

I found a new spot for me. It was almost perfect. Covered by vegetation, close to a stream, and has a tree i can use. I'm gonna start practicing there, but because the ground is slippery, chances are i can die before the actual date i want to go. I don't mind, but just in case i will have a letter in my pocket that says i was not forced to do this and all my possessions will got to my nephew including the laptop full of games. If i die before my schedule, i just wanna say thank you to this site and its members. You allowed me to express myself in ways i never really could on any other place. I guess i really have given up on life. I'm not even crying or sad or anything right now. I guess i just don't care anymore