Mustkeyknow
Experienced
- Feb 8, 2020
- 275
Quote a friend gave me after I told her my plans to CTB. I kinda agree yet agreeing doesn't solve anything either. Am I supposed to exist as this miserable being so I can make everyone around me happy?
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BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,359
When I was actively trying to ctb, I decided I couldn't live for anyone else anymore. I'd tried, but suffering just so they didn't have a guilty conscious was too painful and I had to be selfish and put myself first for once.
WhyamIstillhere
Member
- Jan 27, 2020
- 90
Really something only you can answer. I think a lot of people on this site are still alive because they answer yes to that.
The answer I gave my psychiatrist after a suicide attemp that put me into a mental word for a few days was when asked about the pain cased for family etc. I answered I understand it's bad but I won't be here so it isn't my concern. I understand how heartless and bed that sounds and my view has slightly shifted as mention since my dad passed away after 50 years of marriage but the thing is if I do can't I know that my mum and family will be devastated but also the logic part of my adpie brain can override that feeling with well I will not be herrle so I won't have any guilt or have to deal with any of the issues. And that's probably the mindset I will have to go into if I cbt. I know it sounds awful but it is still the reality of it if you want to escape all your pain CBT and that's it you done. You won't have guilt about the aftermath as you will not exist or anything.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Just kind of tossing it out there too, but if you always live for others and do what makes them happy at what point do you stop doing things for others and do things for you. But then if you do live for yourself, would you want to live because you aren't living for them?
Really though, as others said, only you know the answer.
Really though, as others said, only you know the answer.
drivingaround
Member
- Feb 27, 2020
- 41
I've been told things like this as well. Unfortunately in the end as others have said we can't live only for the sake of everyone around us forever.
DoNotLet2
Wizard
- Oct 14, 2019
- 684
I'd like to ask a different question. Is suicide about solving problems?
For me personally it's about ending pain, both physically and emotionally.
For me, I've started to view it as something that is just a societal response to death. Whilst I know that my family and friends would initially be upset, I think they'd soon realise that their day to day life hasn't really changed. If I said 'I'm going to a desert island for a year and you can't contact me' - they wouldn't grieve or mourn. We'd probably have a big goodbye hug and that would be it. Then once the year was up they'd have adjusted to a life without me and it could just carry on. But label it 'death' and the response is totally different. So I don't feel too bad about it - because I know that given time they'll get over it. They have other friends to go out with and have brunch with, I'm just a secondary character in their lives.
I'm also struggling not to build up resentment for my family and friends, because I feel like I'm going through this alone. I get texts and sympathetic pats on the shoulder, but then people feel their duty is done. Or maybe they just don't understand it, the agony that I'm experiencing. But I can't stay alive just for other people who are oblivious to this kind of pain. They don't see or understand the darkness that I'm wading through, and I truly believe that if they did they would understand my reasons.
I'm also struggling not to build up resentment for my family and friends, because I feel like I'm going through this alone. I get texts and sympathetic pats on the shoulder, but then people feel their duty is done. Or maybe they just don't understand it, the agony that I'm experiencing. But I can't stay alive just for other people who are oblivious to this kind of pain. They don't see or understand the darkness that I'm wading through, and I truly believe that if they did they would understand my reasons.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 7,056
According to them (those pesky pro-lifers), yes since they care more about their feelings and ego more than your suffering. Which imho makes them more selfish than the person suffering and wishing to CTB.
I told some family about my intentions thus giving them the opportunity to help me. The timing and way they showed up was absolutely pathetic. I feel I showed up for my end of the deal, which I did not have to but just wanted to give them a chance to spare themselves pain, and the way they reacted just confirms that they really do not care, probably because they can't possibly understand. I bet they'll spend more money on therapy for themselves, and my funeral than what would have been necessary to help me financially while I give myself a chance to start a new career. I feel a lot less guilt now about going through with it, which seems inevitable, though I'm a 'veteran' on this site, so maybe my cowardice will prevail. It's fear and still enjoying some things in life, even though I don't want to be here, I'm here cause of Entropy, a body in motion wants to stay in motion.
