Discussion Your Reason(s) to leave this world?

[Above&Beyond]

My reasons are multiple health problemes. A chronic depression since my teen years. Neuropatic Pain from a disc prolaps and I need an artifical joint in the near future. Because the first two problems are chronic despite a lot of used therapy options it's time for me to soon say goodbye. This health problemes have ruined my professionell and private life completely. Enough is enough.

What are your reasons?

 

[piratemaverick]

sorry ass job. major depressive disorder. constant anxiety followed by panic attacks to where i struggle to breathe.insomnia that leads to 3 days without sleeping at times..numb to the world to where the point i hate going outside. dental issues my insurance wont cover.over $50,000 in debt from a student loan i will never pay off with a degree that is absolutely pointless.horrible failed relationships. a family who is constantly fighting.ex alcoholic which my family wont forget. a run in with the law that has stained my record from getting a decent job. i guess the list could go on but yeah i agree, enough is enough...

 

[dysfunctional]

Personality got erased to where I don't feel normal emotions anymore. I can't function anymore day to day. Lost all passion and drive which used to be abundant.

 

[YongeDundas]

Being transgender and constantly hating my body. I got sex reassignment surgery and now I hate my body even more. The only stable work I've ever had has been prostitution and porn. I went to college but I can't find work in my field (computer science). My spouse accidentally had a kid with another girl. My spouse is also looking for other people to have sex with since me and the parent of their child aren't interested. (Though, my spouse has raped me twice before)

I'm isolated from all my friends (in another country), I spend most days lying in bed in pain, and I'm broke.

Wow, my life is pretty depressing. I haven't just laid it all out there before.

 

[IchIsGone]

Dead end job, dead parents left me with debt, bad credit score, student loan, didn't finish school, financial problem, anxiety and depression, finding out that I was adopted, seeing my friends made it when I'm just me

 

[WaitingForTheBus]

The reasons why don't even seem to matter anymore. It's just something that needs to be done.

 

[dysfunctional]

The reasons why don't even seem to matter anymore. It's just something that needs to be done.

I hear you there. Original reasons for my depression have been muddled but the terrible feelings have stayed the same. I just need to leave.

 

[cupio dissolvi]

Because I can't have what (who) I want, I live in excruciating pain every day. Plain and simple. I can't function like a normal person. I am the definition of dysfunctional. Eating and sleeping patterns are fucked up. I get triggered by nearly everything, it reminds me of him and next thing I know I'm shaking and having a panic attack, throwing up. All I do is obsess and do compulsions, and cry, and scream like I'm barking mad cause I truly am.

My brain is corrupted and I can't accept things for what they are. And now I'm tired of fighting myself.

 

[AlePizarnik]

Dead end job, trapped in a place I don't like.
No close relationships.
These are reasons that would make ctb relatively easy except I don't know where to find a reliable method. I'm very scared of pain and suffering, or failing. I don't want a mess or violence. I rather die by my own method peacefully than whatever way the grim reaper has planned forme. What if my destiny is to burn alive in some accident?
Furthermore, I am tired and bored of being alive.
I also feel trapped in my body and in this life. It's horrible, everything. I dislike most people. I hate having to interact with people to survive.
I just want to sleep and forget about everything and everyone.

 

[worldexploder]

Too much to type. There is not one good reason personally or philosophically that I can of to stay.

 

[Finallyhere]

Society is dog eat dog.

People don't care things unless it's about money/fame/status.

Lost the drive to play/listen to music.

Don't have the time or money to make films.

Dropped out of uni. Seems to hard to graduate.

I'm a lyft driver. No established career.

Got in trouble with the law.

fucked up my twenties by partying and chasing women.

Friends don't care.

Family is desperate for success.

Ex left me for a rich guy.

I believe the afterlife is a world where I get to achieve what I want and fix my problems.

 

[Maravillosa]

Well! Let me count the ways...

I have had double depression (dysthymia [persistent depressive disorder] and major depression with psychotic features) for most of my life. It has warped what otherwise might have been my potential.

I am afraid of ill health and old age: I do not want to end up like my mother, who is 78 and bedridden with a hairline fracture in her spine after several falls (surgery did not help her).

I am also apprehensive about ending up homeless after my mother's death -- I am on several waiting lists for Section 8 housing, but it could be years before I get to the top of a waiting list.

Also, I am intrigued by the afterlife and hope that I can make it to Heaven without first having to languish for a protracted period in Purgatory -- but I do not want to assume that I will get to Heaven straightaway after I die (that is the sin of presumption, which in its way is as bad as the sin of despair).

 

[TAW122]

I have many reasons, but I'll just list some of the prominent ones.

• Social life failure (oweing it to SA and Aspergers), not likely to improve in the foreseeable future.
• General failure in life and getting around in life (Aspergers again)
• Cannot find and land a job, will be homeless or in poverty very soon.
• Hate how society is unjust, unfair, and really pro-life, which leads to the next reason.
  
• (From above) It's fucking 2018 and yet voluntary euthanasia is still forbidden/illegal. Also forced treatment, detainment against one's will (without any crimes being committed and no danger to others but only oneself) is somehow accepted in society.

There are other ones that stem from these reasons and also other minor ones, but these are more than enough reasons for me to ctb.

 

[StillWaiting]

I don't see the point of constantly struggling for something and eventually die. I am too tired to continue.

 

[Jewels]

Losing my hair, got no friends, no support from family, going to lose my partner of twenty years and everything I have, ostracized from my community, am incredibly lonely, fear I'm going to lose EVERYTHING

 

[nzdarkshark]

~Species Dysphoria
~Lack of social skills
~Lack of a future I want to live in
~Everything in my life seems complicated.
~Tired of fighting
~Tired of professionals saying I dont fit the symptoms of depression so they pawn me off.

 

[wxtyubidi7y]

Multiple disabling chronic pain conditions, losing ability to stand and walk
Unable to work so long-term poverty
Bipolar type 1 (the crazy type) but I could cope with that ok until my physical problems became really serious

 

[Nem]

Wow, everyone has good reasons!!!!
Mine is pretty simple.
I got involved with a horrible, controlling person that fucked me up. My Dr nearly killed me with dangerous meds that left me with severe damage and my ex demanded I keep taking those said meds.
I'm pretty angry about that, I knew the meds were dangerous and my ex knew jack all about the meds yet demanded I keep taking them. I am a retard for taking them and the only reason is I didn't want to deal with her anger or silent treatment. Wtf?!
My Dr was an idiot and the pills were freaking dangerous and when my ex demanded I keep taking them I knew it was bad, I should've told her to fuck right off.
Better yet, when we crossed the border I should've gotten out and hitchhiked back home and left the beotch. I knew it was going to be a shit vacation...started off with 7 hours of goddamn silent treatment for absolutely no goddamn reason and I had to put up with this fucking bitch???
Right at the start of the relationship I should've broken up with her right away, I have punched the flying fuck out of myself for being so fucking stupid staying with a control bitch from hell.
Even the sex was not worth the money! Like, could I have been more of a stupid fucking idiot to stay with this piece of shit for a partner??! Fuck I am so angry the only way to deal with this is to end my life. I worked so hard and never needed a mother fucker to tell me what to do, she was a fucking goddamn asshole bitch from hell.
Right after I met her something didn't seem right, I am a fucking full retard for not breaking up with her at the start. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace everyone!
I'm pretty ticked off about this whole experience as one can tell. In all fairness my ex wasn't bad all the time but in key moments this was a terrible situation. The red flags at the start were true signs that this was not a good relationship, I needed to pay attention to them.

 

[Mr2005]

Not getting surgeons numbers in 2004 is what started my descent into hell. It also feels like the worlds gone with it. How much is perception and how much is reality. I don't think I 'm crazy. I see a lot of the problems of our world on this very site. It's only this false hope I can make a difference keeping me here. Otherwise I'd have got the information I needed and left. It seems pretty pointless going on but there's always this 1% that somehow something could get better. I guess I am crazy. Or just human

 

[MattersOfTheHeart]

The man I love suddenly told me he didn't love me anymore

 

[Misanthrope]

For me it comes down to my mental health declining. Living with treatment resistant Bipolar has become intolerable. One of my medication has damaged my liver to such an extent there is no real way to manage mood effectively and my good or bad days are more determined by how nauseous I feel. Mania sometimes brings on psychosis which is bad enough, but worse is being at the mercy of people who are paid to care, which results in a potentially horrific gamble that I have simply grown tired of experiencing. In line with kindling theory, these cycles are growing in frequency and severity and can only worsen.

Outside of that are financial issues. Work related stresses of my inbox looking like a holocaust drove me into a breakdown and I haven't really been functional since. I am just sort of left haunting my own life in a perpetually bitter state devoid of passion. It feels like who I once was has been eroded and what is left is a husk pretending to be alive. Surviving to simply survive is not living. Quality of life means more to me than longevity of life.

Lastly are societal pressures that are threatening to drive me into a state of homelessness all for the crime of being mentally unwell and unable to work. I am also fed up with rampant absurdity and how psychopathy has become the new normal. I guess I am just tired of having to fight myself and fight the world I live in when it all seems like a losing battle.

 

[Maravillosa]

@MattersOfTheHeart <<<hugs>>>

 

[MattersOfTheHeart]

@MattersOfTheHeart <<<hugs>>>

Thanks <3 and to top it all off, it isn't even entirely his fault. It's because his wicked parents are so freaking toxic and abusive that they basically screwed up his mentally health and emotional well being to the point that in actuality, he most likely DOES still love me, it's just that he's pretty much unable to process and express positive emotions of any kind properly until he can heal from all the crap they've put him through.

 

[starcrossedfate]

I'm tired.

 

[DreamsofDeath]

Mainly the pain I cause others, specifically my mother who has tried to do everything to support me but I have only ever let down and would only continue to do so. Though I have a lot to be thankful for, I want to escape, to be free in death and to free those who I bring down to try to live the best lives they can, unhindered by me.

 

[hunter_lewis]

-Chronic pain conditions, including neuropathic pain in my feet and chronic migraine over 7x a month
-Problems with back and facet joint syndrome
-I am 27 and have been in school for 7 years with no degree
-I am currently unable to work and don't know if I will be able to in the future
-My neuropathic pain prevents me from walking long distances and has gotten much worse-half a year ago I was a normal functioning human
-My prospective job is stressful and has a low pay
-Financial problems and instability in my country means that I will have little to no pension in my old age
-Being scared of old age and its problems
-Dysthymia for about 8-9 years now and severe anxiety, including symptoms like insomnia, headaches, etc

 

[Ghab]

Call me crazy but....curiosity. I just don't feel I'm cut out for life and I'm curious about what's on the other, eternal side. As well as lack of social skills. But yeah it's mostly curiosity.

 

[Nem]

Wow, everyone has good reasons!!!!
Mine is pretty simple.
I got involved with a horrible, controlling person that fucked me up. My Dr nearly killed me with dangerous meds that left me with severe damage and my ex demanded I keep taking those said meds.
I'm pretty angry about that, I knew the meds were dangerous and my ex knew jack all about the meds yet demanded I keep taking them. I am a retard for taking them and the only reason is I didn't want to deal with her anger or silent treatment. Wtf?!
My Dr was an idiot and the pills were freaking dangerous and when my ex demanded I keep taking them I knew it was bad, I should've told her to fuck right off.
Better yet, when we crossed the border I should've gotten out and hitchhiked back home and left the beotch. I knew it was going to be a shit vacation...started off with 7 hours of goddamn silent treatment for absolutely no goddamn reason and I had to put up with this fucking bitch???
Right at the start of the relationship I should've broken up with her right away, I have punched the flying fuck out of myself for being so fucking stupid staying with a control bitch from hell.
Even the sex was not worth the money! Like, could I have been more of a stupid fucking idiot to stay with this piece of shit for a partner??! Fuck I am so angry the only way to deal with this is to end my life. I worked so hard and never needed a mother fucker to tell me what to do, she was a fucking goddamn asshole bitch from hell.
Right after I met her something didn't seem right, I am a fucking full retard for not breaking up with her at the start. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace everyone!
I'm pretty ticked off about this whole experience as one can tell. In all fairness my ex wasn't bad all the time but in key moments this was a terrible situation. The red flags at the start were true signs that this was not a good relationship, I needed to pay attention to them.

I apologize for the language in the post, it's not necessary to get my point across at all. While I'm not happy my ex demanded I keep taking the meds, which I should not have, she had times where she was helpful. The times she wasn't were deadly, like taking meds that were dangerous. This is just a nightmare right now, I am getting worse daily it seems and I need to take myself out of the game before too long.

 

[Roph]

My mental illness is continually getting worse.

 

[Trashcan]

Mental disorders. None can be treated to an acceptable level. I also know a great way to overcome one of them, but I don't have access to it.

I also fucked up my future. I worry a lot about finishing college and going out and about in the real world.

I'm also simply tired of life. The idea of being alive for several more decades is overwhelming.