Venting "Your problems are too big for us to fix"

[SevenDayWeekend]

After many years of dealing with (or not dealing with!) things by myself, I finally got the courage to ask for professional help at the start of this year. At the end of my (first ever) appointment with my doctor they said that whilst usually they try to deter patients from medication, they were ready there any then after 10 minutes to prescribe me anti-depressants which I hadn't really been expecting so I said I needed time to think about it. They gave me the usual pamphlets and websites to read and also gave me the details of the local health authority therapy organisation for self-referral. Soon after, I had an initial assessment with a therapist. A week later, I had a follow-up appointment to discuss the outcome of the assessment and the therapist told me that they (the whole organisation not just them personally) could not help me because my problems were "too big" and "too interlocking" for them to help with. So that was the end of any "professional" help and I was thrown back to the sea and left to fend for myself again.

It was a humiliating and degrading experience to ask for help and explain my situation to my doctor, and then do it all again in even more granular detail with the therapist - Beyond just venting about this, after it was all done I actually felt good. I felt justified in my desire to end my life because the professionals, the people who deal with this every day, who'd trained and got qualified to deal with these exact problems, even they had told me I was beyond any help.

So what am I left to do other than take action and do the dignified thing. After many years of psychoanalysing myself and anguishing about how to get out of the hole I've dug myself in, having the professionals confirm for me that I am indeed beyond help - down in the hole is exactly where I'm supposed to be. 'Digging up' is futile, even when I finally do reach up and ask for a hand from those on the surface, they looked in the hole and said "you're too far down for us to reach." The only thing to do is to keep digging down until I reach the bottom. This gives me peace, I feel calm and ready.

 

[wagner2029]

How horrible, in Brazil at least they try to drug you.
But I would recommend you try another doctor, a private one.
What country do you live in?

 

[SevenDayWeekend]

I can't afford private health care, I can barely afford to eat to be honest. If I wasn't living with family I'd be homeless.

 

[Ambivalent1]

After many years of dealing with (or not dealing with!) things by myself, I finally got the courage to ask for professional help at the start of this year. At the end of my (first ever) appointment with my doctor they said that whilst usually they try to deter patients from medication, they were ready there any then after 10 minutes to prescribe me anti-depressants which I hadn't really been expecting so I said I needed time to think about it. They gave me the usual pamphlets and websites to read and also gave me the details of the local health authority therapy organisation for self-referral. Soon after, I had an initial assessment with a therapist. A week later, I had a follow-up appointment to discuss the outcome of the assessment and the therapist told me that they (the whole organisation not just them personally) could not help me because my problems were "too big" and "too interlocking" for them to help with. So that was the end of any "professional" help and I was thrown back to the sea and left to fend for myself again.

It was a humiliating and degrading experience to ask for help and explain my situation to my doctor, and then do it all again in even more granular detail with the therapist - Beyond just venting about this, after it was all done I actually felt good. I felt justified in my desire to end my life because the professionals, the people who deal with this every day, who'd trained and got qualified to deal with these exact problems, even they had told me I was beyond any help.

So what am I left to do other than take action and do the dignified thing. After many years of psychoanalysing myself and anguishing about how to get out of the hole I've dug myself in, having the professionals confirm for me that I am indeed beyond help - down in the hole is exactly where I'm supposed to be. 'Digging up' is futile, even when I finally do reach up and ask for a hand from those on the surface, they looked in the hole and said "you're too far down for us to reach." The only thing to do is to keep digging down until I reach the bottom. This gives me peace, I feel calm and ready.

I wish a therapist would tell me that so clearly. Instead, they say there's always hope. My brain locks onto that and keeps fighting against phantasms that can't be beat.

 

[Endisclose]

After many years of dealing with (or not dealing with!) things by myself, I finally got the courage to ask for professional help at the start of this year. At the end of my (first ever) appointment with my doctor they said that whilst usually they try to deter patients from medication, they were ready there any then after 10 minutes to prescribe me anti-depressants which I hadn't really been expecting so I said I needed time to think about it. They gave me the usual pamphlets and websites to read and also gave me the details of the local health authority therapy organisation for self-referral. Soon after, I had an initial assessment with a therapist. A week later, I had a follow-up appointment to discuss the outcome of the assessment and the therapist told me that they (the whole organisation not just them personally) could not help me because my problems were "too big" and "too interlocking" for them to help with. So that was the end of any "professional" help and I was thrown back to the sea and left to fend for myself again.

It was a humiliating and degrading experience to ask for help and explain my situation to my doctor, and then do it all again in even more granular detail with the therapist - Beyond just venting about this, after it was all done I actually felt good. I felt justified in my desire to end my life because the professionals, the people who deal with this every day, who'd trained and got qualified to deal with these exact problems, even they had told me I was beyond any help.

So what am I left to do other than take action and do the dignified thing. After many years of psychoanalysing myself and anguishing about how to get out of the hole I've dug myself in, having the professionals confirm for me that I am indeed beyond help - down in the hole is exactly where I'm supposed to be. 'Digging up' is futile, even when I finally do reach up and ask for a hand from those on the surface, they looked in the hole and said "you're too far down for us to reach." The only thing to do is to keep digging down until I reach the bottom. This gives me peace, I feel calm and ready.

Thanks for this. I feel exactly like you do. I've had a similar experience as well. After years of mental agony, I've finally come to see that going is the best way.